Mystery
by Tears.of.Lilith
Summary: Kathryn finds love in the strangest of places,and it seems even destiny is against them. Part 10 is up and everything is coming together nicely. R&R please? More to come.
1. Chapter 1

**[[ I don't own these characters, I just borrowed them, made them gay, and wrote about it. But I did give them back. ]]**

Mystery Person

She was clearing out the databases again, getting rid of fragments and damaged entries. It was during this routine computer swipe the young crewman stumbled upon something inexplicable, something that would sweep Voyager with speculation. Going through the damaged data she found a letter in the deleted files, addressed to "Mystery Person". Struck by curiosity she downloaded the letter to a PADD and took it with her to her quarters. From on the other side of the wall she could hear Ensign Kim practicing his clarinet.

Pulling out the PADD she began to read aloud,

"_Dear Mystery Person, somehow you've managed to stumble upon this letter of mine. Chances are I will press delete before sending this to it's recipient. I've fallen in love, quite by accident. It started small, passing each other in the corridor, exchanging ideas, and getting to know one another. This love of mine is untouchable, and unattainable. I wish things were very different, but they are not. I am and will remain alone. I just wanted someone to know about this weight I carry on my heart, and know that somewhere on this ship someone understands. Signed Mystery Person."_

Crewman Cassandra Wilkes felt herself smile, and wondered who the people mentioned in her letter could be. Maybe it was Lt. Carey, from Engineering, maybe he couldn't confess his love because he's married. Or maybe it was some crewman playing a practical joke on her. Terry from the Science Lab had always been a bit prone to jokes. All the same, she was intrigued.

She found him sitting at his usual table, and he smiled as she walked over.

"Can I bother you Terry," she asked, taking the chair opposite to him.

Again he smiled, "Anytime Cassy."

Pulling out the PADD she pushed it towards him, and he read it.

"Cute," Terry replied, sliding it back to her, "but what is it?"

"Oh please, as if this isn't one of your jokes."

"Nope."

Cassy furrowed her brow in confusion, "But if not you, who?"

"You're in computer maintenance," Terry said, standing to leave, "run a trace."

It took an extra hour after her duty shift, but her trail had gone cold. The message was impossible to trace. Instead, she programmed the computer with an algorithm to find the phrase, "_Dear Mystery Person"._ After an hour of searching she had the next letter. She downloaded it and waited until everyone in her room had retired before reading it.

"_Dear Mystery Person. I don't know how to tell her I love her, and if I did we could never be together. I keep silent, until I crawl into bed and cry into my pillows. This love is painful. Some days I feel as if I cannot endure another moment, and somehow last the day. I hope whomever is reading this understands, and can understand why I write these letters and not speak my heart's truth. Signed, Mystery Person_."

Again she was filed with curiosity as to the author of these sad letters. She sat and worked out several things about the author; it was a "he" as referenced by his attachment to "her", they had excellent knowledge of ship's systems and encryption, and most likely had access to a private terminal. This narrowed the list down to twenty of a possible one hundred forty-seven crewmen. She looked at her list, with names such as Tuvok and Carey on the list. Scratching Tuvok's name off the list, she thought maybe she'd ask Terry for help.

"Wow," Terry exclaimed after reading the second letter, "you're really onto something here. Any ideas as to who?"

"I did compose a list," Cassy replied, handing it to Terry. Though he was on Gamma shift they still found time to have a quick meal together before heading off to duty shifts.

"And you've tried a trace," he asked.

"There's some strong encryptions on this one," she explained.

Terry chuckled, "Maybe you're trying to go about this backwards. What if you could narrow down the search, try to isolate the signature. Engineering, Security, Command."

"Great idea," Cassy stood to leave, collected her PADD and headed to her computer junction.

She rushed to finish her duties before her shift ended, as she needed an excuse to do a search. Another letter was found, in the back up files, cleverly hidden, downloaded for reading later. The trace revealed the letters had a command signature, which greatly narrowed down her list. Firstly, it had to be an officer, with a high position. Secondly, the list had less than eight names now. Commander Chakotay, Tom Paris, Harry Kim, Lt. Carey, Lt. Andrews, Walter Baxter, Lt. Hargrove, or Lt. Russell. Some of the people on this list she had a hard time leaving on. Carey and Paris were married, and the others seemed unlikely. Except for Chakotay, after all, some of the crew had long suspected he had feelings for the Captain. It seemed likely, she just hoped the next letter held more clues. As her bunkmates crawled into bed she began to read.

"_Dear Mystery Person. I guess I should give you a name, after all, I know someone is reading these letters of mine. I almost thought I wouldn't write another one. Yet here I am, watching the stars go by, glad at least someone is listening. I would ask you not pursue my identity, but a strong part of me wants you to continue. I need to be more than the cold unfeeling thing I have become. Everyday I go number, until one day I won't feel anything, not even the pain of unrequited love. I discovered she loves someone else, and I didn't know how to take the news, so I'm writing another letter I'll never send. Signed Mystery Person."_

Cassandra bolted into from her bed and into her uniform. She knew if someone were alerted to her presence in reading the letters the alert could be traced to a station, which could lead to the writer. A part of her wanted to skip gleefully to her station, but she contained herself. When she got to her station she made sure nobody saw her. Her shift wasn't for another twelve hours, but the detective in her couldn't wait. The trace was successful, it revealed the alert went to the control panel at the main junction on Deck Two. This perturbed her, it was a very public access point. She went to the terminal, and saw in the very bottom of the panel the word 'Mystery' flashing. Whoever was writing these letters hadn't yet deactivated the alert.

"Computer," she ordered, "please keep a detailed account of the people who access this terminal, and transfer record to my personal database."

The computer beeped in reply, now all she had to do was wait.

At the very second her shift ended she ran to her quarters and activated the list of people to access the terminal, it was a surprisingly short list; Crewman Chell, Ensign Micheal Parsons, Tom Paris, and Captain Janeway. Instantly she knew it couldn't be the first two - they didn't have the command signature - and the last two were equally puzzling. Tom was married to B'Elanna and - according to Deck Nine Section Twelve - they were still very passionate. And, well, the idea that Captain Janeway would be in love with a women, come on, impossible. It did intrigue her though. She would have to do more research. From her personal console she ran another search for the key words, and was surprised to get another letter. Her lips silently read it.

"_Dear Mystery Person. I couldn't bear to look at her today, or any day since I found out her heart was wondering. If we had to work together I avoided it, when she called I made excuses. I wonder if she knows I'm lying. Every time her eyes find mine I think she sees my pain. Last night I cried myself to sleep, and no amount of coffee could perk me up._ _I hope you don't judge me too harshly, Mystery Person, and try to understand this heart in turmoil. Signed, Mystery Person."_

Her tears were hot on her cheeks, and she knew this could only be written by a woman in pain. The Captain, their Captain, suffered. Had she not accidentally stumbled on these letters, she would have suffered silently. Cassandra sat at her desk and wrote;

"_Dear Mystery Person. Love cannot be judged, and nor do I judge you. I hope healing for you, because nobody deserves to suffer. I wish I could hold you in my arms, take away your pain, and thank you for all you've done. Sometimes when you feel broken inside remember I am hoping for your happiness. You deserve to be loved. I am here for you. You've touched my heart, my soul, and changed my life. Signed Mystery Person_."

"Computer," she said, "when some accesses the alert on researched panel display data file with urgent status."

A part of her expected to be hauled in Janeway's Ready Room, and berated for violating her privacy. It's strange, but she felt very saddened by her Captain's pain, it stirred something within her. Something more than sympathy. Every second of her duty shift was a second in torment. Did she violate some unspoken agreement by writing back? But she kept her head down, and went about her day.

"Did you ever solve that letter mystery," Terry asked as he took a bite of his dinner.

"No," I lied, "I think those two letters were it."

"Too bad," he replied, "would've been interesting to know who."

"Maybe we should just forget about it," Cassandra felt she had betrayed her a bit by sharing the letters, "it was nothing after all."

"True."

When she got to her quarters she ran the search again, having had no reply for two days now. She felt perhaps the Captain felt she'd been discovered.

'She'd be right,' Cassandra thought.

"File found," the computer stated simply, and Cassandra eagerly downloaded it into her PADD.

"_Dear Mystery Person_," she read, "_I want to thank you for your kind words. I used them like a blanket and have slept soundly these past two nights. She loves someone else, but at least she's happy. I can live with that. Part of me didn't want to respond to your letter, and I almost didn't. But I feel like that you are closer to me than my own heart. I sense your presence on this ship, bright and warm. Maybe this journey home won't be so dark after all. Signed Mystery Person."_

Cassandra did not write a response right away, instead she waited. She felt that instead of sending another letter she'd tell the Captain how she felt to her face. Before requesting a meeting she returned to her quarters and check her appearance. She had long black hair, bound in a bun at the base of her head, bright hazel eyes, and a pale complexion. Taking up pins she redid her hair, and was happy to hear she could see the Captain right away.

When the doors to her Ready Room opened it revealed young Crewman Cassandra Wilkes, a lovely woman from the Science department.

"Afternoon Crewman," she greeted, seated at her desk.

Cassandra approached the desk and stood at attention, "Hello Captain."

"At ease Cassandra," Kathryn ordered.

She asked hesitantly, "Permission to speak freely Captain?"

"Granted."

What Cassandra wanted to say was that she knew the other woman was in pain, that she was the _Mystery Person_, and she didn't have to suffer alone anymore. But something stopped her. Maybe it was the thought Kathryn might be very ashamed of her honesty, or the respectful distance everyone maintained. Maybe Kathryn wasn't ready for the truth.

"I just wanted to say that," Cassandra hesitated before continuing, "that I am thankful for all that you do Captain. Grateful for the sacrifices you have made for this crew. I just thought you should know."

Kathryn stood and put her hand on Cassandra's shoulder, and where the Captain touched her skin heated, "I appreciate that Cassandra."

"You're welcome," Cassandra answered softly, then turned and exited the Ready Room. Kathryn went back to her desk, and on her screen was Cassandra's profile. From Chakotay's former crew, though she had graduated from the Academy three years prior. Command track. Also a very attractive woman, Kathryn noted.

"_Dear Mystery Person_," she whispered, caressing her thumb along Cassandra's picture.

She practically hid over the next week, avoiding all public places, but still she was constantly running into the Captain, in hallways, the Mess Hall, and three awkward silent minutes in a Turbolift. Though Cassandra found it strange the Captain always wore a slight smirk. If Cassandra had been a suspicious person she would have thought the Captain was running into her intentionally, but it never occurred to her.

Then one night things changed.

Cassandra was laying on her bunk, unable to sleep. She went to her console and ran a search for "_Dear Mystery Person_". There was a letter waiting. Tapping her finger against the desk she looked about to make sure her roommates were sleeping and opened the message.

"_Dear Mystery Person. A few days ago I had a meeting with a young crewman, and she thanked me. Thanked me when she had banished the darkness from my thoughts. I know who you are Mystery Person. Can't you hear my soul calling yours? You have stirred something in me I thought I'd lost. I am your Commanding Officer, but I am also a woman. If you can look past rank so can I. Though I don't know you very well I feel I do all the same. Signed Mystery Person_."

Kathryn was not in bed when Cassandra chimed her door, she was sitting on her coach. Cassandra had not bothered to get dressed in uniform, and wore a white robe over her blue nightgown. Her hazel eyes zeroed in on Kathryn's blues, conveying interesting emotions.

"Cassandra," Kathryn greeted in a whisper, a bit husky.

She strode over to Kathryn and looked down at her Captain. Without saying a word she took Kathryn's hand and helped her to her feet. Cassandra stood an inch taller, she stooped as if to kiss Kathryn, but stop millimetres from her lips.

"Don't tease me," Kathryn whispered, "if you don't want to do this, stop."

Cassandra brushed her lips to Kathryn's and said in a seductive voice, "Can't you hear my body calling yours?"

Their lips met passionately, and hands began exploring the body of the other. Kathryn found the knot to Cassandra's robe, and helped her out of it as the young woman's lips found her neck. Without breaking their embrace they managed to stumble over to Kathryn's bedroom. Cassandra was on top of Kathryn, and gently slid her lover's pink negligee over her head. She had one leg between Kathryn's, her mouth making a snack of Kathryn's nipples. Slender fingers entwined in Cassandra's hair, and maintained their hold as the mouth moved lower on her body.

"Cassandra," she moaned, but as her lover continued to explore her body her name was moaned, "Cass", and as Kathryn was closer to her orgasm it was inaudible moans.

Kathryn was spent, and curled easily in Cassandra's arms. The young woman wrapped her arms about Kathryn, smiling. Together they laid, neither one speaking of what had transpired, not wanting to break the reverie. Too many questions hung in the hot air around them, like an after sex smoke. Kathryn good feel Cassandra's breathing becoming steadier, and slower. If Cassandra spent the night what would it mean to Kathryn?

She whispered, "Are you asleep?"

"No," came the reply, as Cassandra stirred, and they both sat up.

"Cassandra, I-" Kathryn began, but Cassandra put a finger on her lips. She watched as her young lover slipped back into her night clothes, totally silent. Before turning to leave Cassandra bent over Kathryn, as she gave Kathryn a gently kiss she said, "Goodnight Mystery Woman."

Kathryn's lips eagerly accepted a kiss, and never formed a word as Cassandra walked into the corridor. Instead she sighed deeply- though not sadly- as she slipped back into her negligee.

"Computer, lights on," and saw the disarray her quarters where in. Somehow her coffee table had ended up on it's side and sheets had come off the mattress. Did she feel any regret, yes, a little. There was a lot of risk in taking a lover. But did she want it to stop here, just one night to remember for the cold nights to come, that she couldn't answer.

Four days passed, and they had managed to completely avoid each other until Cassandra showed up for her Holodeck time as Kathryn exited the same Holodeck she'd booked. Immediately she stood at attention, eyes unreadable.

"Captain," she greeted.

Kathryn looked away, "Hello Crewman. Done for the day?"

"Yes, just headed for some kayaking."

"Careful you don't get hurt," Kathryn cautioned, "it could be dangerous."

"It could be," Cassandra agreed, "but it's more fulfilling that way. Tests my limits."

Kathryn's eyes moved appreciatively over Cassandra's bathing suit, as the crewman's cheeks flushed.

"I'm sure you can handle yourself."

"I can."

Cassandra was sure she saw the hint of a smirk on Kathryn's lips as she walked away. She leaned against the bulkhead, and could now comprehend her desire to see her Mystery Woman again.

When Kathryn entered her quarters she released the breath she'd been holding in since meeting Cassandra. Her eyes drunk of the sight of her body. She went over to her computer and sent a message to Cassandra's, "_A Mystery Woman awaits_."

A few hours later she opened her doors to reveal Cassandra, still in uniform. Kathryn guided her into a passionate embrace and a deep kiss, full of longing. Jackets, pants, and boots came flying off, in a trail towards the bedroom. Tonight, however, Kathryn pinned Cassandra down and began discovering her body. Again they made passionate love, but never said a word afterwards, as if speech would destroy the magic. Again Kathryn slept alone.

Another three days go by, and Cassandra enters a Turbolift with Chakotay and Kathryn. They say nothing to one another, though as Kathryn leaves with Chakotay her fingertips graze along Cassandra's hip bone, she has been summoned by her Mystery Woman.

Night after night they are consumed by sexual desire for one another, and neither pushes it further. Kathryn's moods improve and Cassandra is caught humming to herself at times. Even the most astute observer would never guess that these people, worlds apart, would be tearing each other's clothes off later. Which is why keeping things a secret was a success for so long. But eventually their luck ran out.

Believe it or not, it was Chakotay who first became suspicious. He still had his weekly dinners with her, but sometimes her quarters felt a little out of order. It happened innocently enough, they moved onto her couch and Chakotay felt like he was sitting on something. He made a face and reached out and pulled a pair of underwear from underneath himself.

Kathryn's jaw dropped at the sight, mostly because they weren't hers.

"My apologies Kathryn," he whispered.

"It's uh, okay," she stammered nervously a bit, "besides, it's not like they're mine."

"Who's else could they be?"

"Hmm?"

"The underwear," he let them fall to the floor, "you said they weren't yours."

"Well of course they're mine," she said simply, taking a long sip of wine.

He braved another ten minutes of awkward conversation before excusing himself. As he headed down the corridor he mildly noticed Crewman Wilkes was headed in the direction he'd come from and wondering what she was doing out and about at this hour.

When Cassandra entered she saw Kathryn with a pair of underwear in her hand.

"Forget something?"

"Yes, I believe I did," Cassandra replied, unzipping Kathryn's uniform.

Tonight was unlike any other night, because as Cassandra stood to gather her clothes Kathryn stopped her.

She stated, "I'd like you to spend the night."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Kathryn pulled Cassandra into a passionate embrace, "stay with me."

They made love again, uniform pieces strewn about everywhere, and when the computer woke them in the morning they were groggy and not observant. Cassandra had an early duty shift so she left first, and Kathryn leisurely did her morning routine. As she grabbed her jacket Chakotay rang her door, and she invited him in.

"Good morning," he greeted. He usually met her to walk together to the Bridge.

"Morning Commander."

He chuckled to himself, "Planning on going back to the Science Division?"

"What do you mean?"

Chakotay pointed to her jacket, well, not her jacket, Cassandra's teal Science jacket.

"Oh, I see," she replied, "I had breakfast with a Crewman and clearly there's been a mix-up."

"Clearly."

"I'll catch up with you," she said, and made her way towards Cassandra's station. Kathryn had a good chuckle over the matter and managed to get to her station without running into anyone.

"Captain," Cassandra addressed her formally, "it seems there's been a mix-up."

"That seems to be the theme," she said as she removed her jacket. As she exited the corridor to Cassandra she didn't notice Chakotay see her slip back into her proper colours and when he looked down towards Cassandra's station he saw the young crewman zipping up her teal jacket.

'Two women,' he thought, 'worlds apart.'

Made perfect sense.

After intentionally avoiding one another for a week, so as to dismiss any inkling of rumour. But after seven passionless nights their bodies called out to one another through the decks of Voyager. Cassandra came without being invited into Kathryn's waiting bed. She had no duty shift the following day so they made love all night. This was consuming both of them, their bodies and minds. Cassandra was young, energetic, the perfect combination to awaken Kathryn's dormant passion, and Kathryn was the first to match Cassandra's ardour. A perfect match, except they were very different people.

This wasn't love, but it wasn't pointless either. This was comfort in satisfying each other's desires.

Eventually rumours would circulate about Crewman Wilkes being summoned to the Captain's quarters at all hours.

Chakotay would squash these rumours with truth and reminded the culprits of respecting privacy. Though after catching Wilkes sauntering out of Kathryn's quarters, headed for duty, he decided to ask.

"Kathryn," he began, "tell me, is there any merit to the rumours?'

"Which ones," Kathryn inquired back, "the one about Harry dating both Delany twins? Or that Seven secretly eats chocolate?"

"Come on, Kathryn, you know what I mean."

She shrugged.

"The one about a Mystery Person coming to your quarters."

"Oh," she remarked casually, "this one is new to me. What else?"

"They say it's a Mystery Woman."

In her mind she smirked, but outwardly kept a stern poker face.

"I swear, gossip travels faster than orders on this ship."

"It does," he agreed, "about this Mystery Woman, you can confide in me."

She thought of her nights with Cassandra and waking up with the young woman in the mornings. Even now her soul was entwined with hers, six decks away.

"Chakotay," she said carefully, "could we not just keep it a Mystery?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Coffee black," Cassandra ordered from the replicator, and picked up the mug. She wondered back over to a sleeping Kathryn, and put the coffee to her lover's nose.

Slowly, Kathryn began to stir.

"Good morning," Cassandra greeted, handing Kathryn the mug.

She smiled and took a sip, "What time is it?"

"Oh four hundred," the crewman replied, tucking a lock of Kathryn's hair back into place, "you told me to wake you before I left for my duty shift."

Kathryn sighed, "Thanks darling. What's on your agenda today?"

"Computer enhancements," she replied, getting dressed in her uniform, "replacing some gel packs on Deck Three."

"Sounds positively dull," Kathryn replied, sitting up, "don't you ever want something more exciting? You do have a lot of Starfleet training under your belt, and your talents could be put to better use."

"Maybe," Cassandra picked up her combadge from the nightstand and pinned it to her chest, "but I like what I do, and the people I work with. Besides, your schedule is hectic enough for the both of us."

"Agreed," Kathryn took another sip of her coffee, "but still, think about it."

The crewman walked over to Kathryn and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, "I will. But I got to run. Have a good day."

"You too."

Cassandra exited into the corridor and let out a frustrated sigh. She enjoyed being with Kathryn in every way, but after eight months together they never defined their relationship. Or spoke of love. Sometimes Cassandra felt one day Kathryn would end this, and was just waiting for that day. Several factors caused strain on their relationship; first of all Kathryn was the Captain, Cassandra was a lot younger, and while their relationship was common knowledge it was never made official. Kathryn did not go to crew functions unless pressed, and never with Cassandra, which bothered the young woman. Though Kathryn had never forbid her from talking about their relationship she still kept quiet about it with her friends, and was slowly losing them one by one. That was another thing, they both had very different circle of friends.

Worlds apart.

Maybe too far apart.

Then one day everything changed.

They had entered the Frashian system, the inhabitants were friendly and Captain Janeway had granted them all shore leave. But Cassandra was not invited to go with Kathryn, instead Chakotay accompanied her. She was distraught, hurt, and reckless. Terry, her only remaining friend, tried to cheer her up by inviting her to the beaches on the southern continent but she declined, opting for some time in the capitol city instead.

It was late at night, under the bright three moons. For a moment she felt like she was on Diedra Six, her home planet, a colony along the Demilitarized Zone. After the Treaty it was given to the Cardassians, prompting her to join the Maquis. Chakotay himself had recruited her, and saved her from her demons. Cassandra used a lot of Maraji Crystal in her early years as a Maquis, and it was with Chakotay's support she had come clean. But on a day like this, she wondered why she had ever given the drug up. It brought her release from pain and freed her mind from doubts.

She was alone, and in a seedy part of the capitol, known for its brothels and rancorous drug trade. Cassandra was out of uniform, and carried a small pouch brimming with local currency. Pawn shops were also common, and she had sold key aspects of Voyager's database. Music, stories, information on cultures, nothing criminal, but had the Captain known she never would have allowed it.

She found her contact in an alleyway, and as she counted out the payment he gave her a vial of Rhuludian Crystal, the Delta Quadrant's favourite drug. He also sold her a contraption to smoke the crystals, and quickly left her alone with her poor choices. Walking for a time she fingered the vial, thinking. She thought about Kathryn, and how she could never be what Kathryn actually wanted. Her feet lead her to the riverway, and she sat on the banks. Nobody was around, and she loaded the tube. Double checking to make sure nobody was around she took her first hit, and instantly felt the drug taking effect. Her pulse slowed, body became heavy, and her mind forgot to think. How long did she sit there, occasionally taking another hit, staring out into the water, she did not know. Cassandra's mind wandered so far she did not see the security coming towards her in time, and they arrested her.

Kathryn was laughing with Chakotay over a nice glass of wine when she got the hail.

"Neelix to the Captain."

She stopped laughing, "Go ahead Mr. Neelix."

"One of the crew has been arrested," he explained carefully, "for being caught with a controlled substance."

"Who is it," Chakotay asked, and Neelix wished he hadn't.

"Crewman Wilkes, sir."

Kathryn did not flinch, instead the Command mask went on. She made arrangements to transport over to wear Cassandra was being held.

The young crewman was treated fairly, and placed in a cell to await what was to come. She hoped they would imprison her for a long time, it was a lot better than facing Kathryn. The drugs were still very strong in her system and everything was still hazy. According to local law the punishment was to undergo counselling, and the Captain made arrangements for Cassandra to remotely be counselled from Voyager. It could have been a lot worse for the young crewman, but the Frashians were kind, and it was Cassandra's first offence. They told Kathryn a lot of young people were attracted to the drug and some liked to experiment, and usually never relapsed after just one try. Chakotay knew about Cassandra's history with drug addiction, but did not bring it up, he was, however, concerned about the Captain. Though to the untrained eye it seemed Kathryn treated this no differently than any other crewman transgression he knew her better. She was wounded.

She heard the Captain's footsteps before she saw her. Cassandra stood at full attention as Chakotay, Kathryn, and the Frashian guard approached her.

"Could you gentlemen give me a moment with Crewman Wilkes," Kathryn requested, and they gave her some privacy.

Cassandra did not say a word, and tried to keep her emotions hidden.

Kathryn lowered the forcefield and stepped closer to her lover, "I want an explanation and I want it now."

"Captain," Cassandra began, choosing to remain formal, "I expect to be punished for my actions to the fullest extent of the law."

"That's not what I asked," Kathryn swallowed past the knot in her throat, "I asked why Crewman."

Cassandra met Kathryn's steely gaze, "Permission to speak freely."

Kathryn looked at Chakotay, to make sure he was out of earshot.

"Granted."

"I needed to forget."

She looked into her lover's eyes, "Forget what Cassandra?"

"That you don't love me," Cassandra said, and choked on a sob.

Kathryn did not deny it, she only look away. Cassandra felt like Kathryn had ripped her heart from her chest, and stepped on it as she activated the force field and walked away.

As per the Captain's orders she had to spend sixty days in the Brig, double the punishment as Tom had faced. Nobody questioned the Captain's decision, except her First Officer.

They were having dinner in her quarters, and the mood was subdued.

"Kathryn," he said, putting his fork down, "how are you holding up?"

She looked away, "I'm fine."

He poured another cup of coffee for them both.

"I was once really close to Crewman Wilkes," Chakotay began, but Kathryn interjected.

"I'd rather not discuss her."

"Too bad," he replied, "you need to talk to someone about it. Sixteen days she's been confined. Tom destroyed the oxygen factory in that water planet and received half the punishment."

"As Captain I decide what's appropriate punishment," she replied, "and I can't involve my personal feelings."

"Is that what you're doing," he asked, "proving you're unbiased? By doubling her punishment? All I see here is your emotions influencing your command."

"Your concern is noted," she replied coldly.

He pressed on, "What was it? Surely not the drugs. Why are you so angry?"

"She said I don't love her."

Chakotay paused, and looked up at Kathryn, "Was she right?"

A hand flew to her face, covering her blue eyes. They welled up with tears, and a familiar knot found hold on her throat.

"I beg your pardon," she snapped, but Chakotay did not respond, instead he let her mind weigh the facts.

"I don't know Chakotay."

He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "What are you worried about?"

"Everything," she admitted, "if I allow myself to love her, it changes everything. Can I stay objective as a Captain? What if something happens to her, do I risk everything to save her? And what about the emotional rollercoaster that love is, will it affect me. Then there's very clear protocol about relations with a member of the crew. And being thirty thousand light years from Earth is no excuse. I could lose my commission, and rank."

"Think about this," Chakotay looked pensive, "can you be alone for the next thirty years?"

Kathryn felt the first tears on her cheeks, "I don't want to be alone anymore."

"Then you know what you have to do."

She smiled up at him, her best friend. Kathryn found it hard to believe she had once almost lost his bond, when she found out about his relationship with Seven.

"Thank-you."

Sixteen days in the Brig, with only her thoughts as companionship. Neelix brought her meals thrice daily, and though it was bland and unappetizing she never complained. She was a model prisoner.

On the inside though, she was broken. After the way Kathryn had left her there, and- having not set eyes on her since her punishment began - it felt like whatever they shared was over. Cassandra understood though, Kathryn was the Captain and could not associate with problematic crewmen. Still, it hurt her deeply. At first she did not cry, instead she did push-ups or composed random poetry aloud.

Day seventeen dawned like any other, but when it came time for Neelix to bring her breakfast Kathryn came to see her instead.

Cassandra stood at attention when Kathryn approached her cell.

"Crewman Wilkes," Kathryn greeted, "upon further review of your case I have decided to reduce your punishment to sixteen days solitary confinement. Since you've been here long enough, you're free to go."

Kathryn nodded to the guard and he lowered the forcefield.

"Thank-you, Captain," Cassandra replied, "but I deserve no special treatment, and should fully serve my sentence."

Kathryn stepped into the cell, and stepped close to Cassandra.

"My previous sentence was too harsh," she explained, "and I hope you can forgive me."

"Yes ma'am."

She choose to be formal, to hide how much it hurt to see Kathryn, to feel her so close. The Captain was untouchable though, and this proved it. Cassandra went to exit the cell, but Kathryn grabbed her wrist. They stood in silence, not moving.

"Don't do this," Cassandra whispered, echoing her words, "don't let me think you might actually care."

Kathryn wrapped her arms around Cassandra, "I am afraid of what loving you means. But I know I can't live without you near me."

"What do you mean," Cassandra held back.

Kathryn bowed her head, "I'm in love with you. And I'm sorry it took me this long to realize it."

"I love you too," Cassandra replied, sealing her comment with a kiss.

Kathryn awoke before Cassandra for a change, and replicated two cups of coffee. Today she put her plans into motion. Though not officially Cassandra practically lived in Kathryn's quarters, and it made the Captain smile to see their toothbrushes side by side. In the two months since her confession their love had deepened into something sacred. They had also gone public with their relationship, much to the delight of the crew. It made them glad to see the Captain happy, though none could have ever predicted how things ended up. Kathryn took a sip of her coffee, then pressed her lips to Cassandra's sleeping ones. It roused the young woman, and she stretched languidly. Kathryn adored her lover's body, clothed and naked.

"Get up," Kathryn said gruffly.

Cassandra moaned in reply, "Is that an order?"

She chuckled, "A suggestion."

"You know," Cassandra sat up and accepted the steaming mug, "I'm off duty today. I thought I could sleep in."

Kathryn smirked, "It's oh seven hundred, you've done plenty of sleeping in."

She playfully slapped Kathryn and yawned.

"I'm getting old, Kathryn, I need sleep."

They both laughed, "You're getting old? Darling I'm surprised I haven't gotten any gray hairs yet."

"I dye them when you're sleeping," Cassandra joked.

"Bridge to the Captain," Tuvok hailed.

Kathryn rolled her eyes, "Yes Lieutenant?"

"There's a nebula on sensors, rich in hydrogen," he explained, "permission to use the Bussard Collectors?"

"Granted," she replied, "and unless there's an emergency I'd prefer not to be bothered."

Tom smiled from his station.

"Acknowledged."

"Ensign Ro to Crewman Wilkes," hailed the chief of the computer maintenance.

"Wilkes here."

"There's a jam in the computer systems," Ro explained, "and I'm sorry to bother you on your day off, but it is disrupting several systems."

"On my way."

Cassandra groaned again, and started getting dressed.

"I'll come with you," Kathryn offered, "then maybe we could go to the Holodeck."

"I'd like that."

Kathryn gave Cassandra a quick peck before they exited her quarters. At Cassandra's station she found it odd Ensign Ro did not stay to assist or even brief her on the problem, thankfully Kathryn was there.

"There's something jammed in a computer pathway," she said, punching some commands in a console.

"Here," Cassandra removed a panel, and ran a tricorder over the systems. A small ring-like object was rammed in the middle of a relay. It was hard to extract, but when it finally pulled free she examined it. She did not see Kathryn kneel behind her. The object was not ring-like, it was a ring. A small platinum band with diamond chips encrusted.

"What's this," Cassandra asked.

Kathryn reached over, and plucked it from Cassandra's grip. Her eyes followed Kathryn's hand.

"Cassandra," Kathryn began, "being with you makes this journey home bearable, even enjoyable. I love the way I love you, and I can't imagine spending my life with any but you. I know I can be irritating, stubborn, and self-righteous, and that's on a good day. These past months have been the most memorable of my life, and, well, I was wondering-"

Cassandra put a finger to Kathryn's lips, "Yes. I will."

A smile broke out on Kathryn's face as she slipped the ring on Cassandra's finger. It fit perfectly, and looked lovely.

They shared a deep kiss, both lost in the bliss of their love.

"Neelix to the Captain."

Kathryn sighed, "Yes Mr. Neelix?"

"I require you in the Mess Hall immediately."

"Is it really important," Kathryn looked lovingly at Cassandra, "I'm kind of the middle of something."

"I'm afraid it's very urgent."

Cassandra followed Kathryn to the Mess Hall, and when the entered the lights were down.

"Neelix," Kathryn called, carefully stepping into the darkened room.

"Surprise," yelled the hidden crewmen, as the lights came on, to reveal what they had been scheming. A banner reading 'Congrats' hung in the corner, and several tables were laid out with food and champagne.

Chakotay approached.

"Commander," Kathryn chastised playfully, "I thought you could keep a secret."

"I did," he replied innocently, "it's Tom who told everybody."

"So," piped up the Doctor, "what did she say?"

Cassandra had been standing back shyly, a little embarrassed by the limelight, and now a deep blush overtook her cheeks.

"Mission accomplished," Kathryn announced, wrapping an arm around Cassandra's waist.

The Doctor held up his holo-imager, "A picture perhaps?"

"Darling," Kathryn asked the shy woman, who could only nod.

As Cassandra was taller she wrapped her arms around Kathryn's waist from behind, and rested her head on her future wife's shoulder. This was the true meaning of bliss. The future had never looked so bright.

Two months later Cassandra was in her dress uniform, nervously pacing up and down the corridor. Today was the day, though it was the third time her and Kathryn had tried to tie the knot. The first time the Borg cancelled several weeks of careful planning, and then the second time a spatial anomaly nearly destroyed them. Naturally Cassandra had a feeling the nuptials would not proceed as planned. Chakotay approached her, and nearly laughed.

"Nervous?"

Cassandra paused her pacing, to look at Chakotay.

"A bit," she admitted, "I keep thinking something awful is going to happen."

"Cold feet?"

She shook her head, "Never. I want to spend the rest of my life with that woman."

"Funny," he remarked, "when I went to see Kathryn, and found her pacing, she said the exact same thing."

She smiled, "Thanks Commander. For everything."

"Listen to me," he said, serious, "just remember that even though she's the Captain she still needs to be taken care of."

"I know."

"Then let's get started."

Neelix had erected a wedding arch in the Mess Hall, white roses entwined with the structure. Cassandra had let her hair down, curling the ends slightly. Her teal and black dress complimented her skin. She entered, and saw every eye turn to her, but here eyes fastened to Kathryn's, and found therein a deep joy.

She heard Seven at the piano, accompanied by Harry on his clarinet, as they played the Traditional Wedding March. When she finished her slow walk to Kathryn the woman took her hands in her own, and held them gently.

"We are gathered here to celebrate the joining of two people in their love," Chakotay said, "and I could not be more honoured to be in my position. Each and every one of us owes our lives to the Captain in one way or another, and I'm sure I speak for everyone gathered when I wish you both peace and prosperity in your love. I am not here as an Officer, but as a friend. Kathryn, eight years we've been in the Delta Quadrant, and your dedication and fortitude have been unwavering. Cassandra, your light and joy has touched the lives of many, and it brings my heart deep joy to see you bringing it to yet another life. The couple has prepared their own vows."

Kathryn's voice caught in her throat, and for the first time in her life words did not immediately come flying out of her mouth.

"You inspire me," she told Cassandra, "to be a better woman. And without your love I don't know what I'd do. With this ring, as a symbol of my unyielding devotion I take you, Cassandra Marie Wilkes, to be my lawfully wedded wife."

She slipped the band on Cassandra's ring finger, and kissed her palm.

Cassandra slowly made her reply, "When I first met you I thought you were stubborn, pig headed, and arrogant. Then by random chance I stole a peek into your soul, and everything changed. I realised you were steadfast, proud, and a loving spirit. I love you more than words could ever say, and with this ring, a symbol of my unwavering love, I take you, Kathryn Janeway, to be my wife."

"Then with the power vested in me by Starfleet Command and the United Federation of Planets, I now declare Kathryn Janeway and Cassandra Wilkes joined in marriage," Chakotay declared, a large smile on his face, "you may kiss the bride."

"Yes sir," Cassandra said, and pulled Kathryn in for a long, deep kiss.

The people gathered broke out in applause, and an occasional tear slipped from an eye. Due to the nature of Kathryn's position they could not take the Flyer out for a honeymoon, as Tom and B'Elanna had done, but they did book a week on the Holodeck. Also, that day marked the day when Cassandra officially moved into Kathryn's quarters.

They quibbled over decorations, furniture arrangement, but all in love and patience.

"No more," Kathryn's head streaked with sweat, and she dropped the couch, "it stays here."

Cassandra laughed, "In the middle of the room?"

"Yes," she replied, "right here. We've moved the damn thing six times already, darling, no more."

"Okay," Cassandra relented, pulling Kathryn on the couch, "don't tell me you're too tired for me."

Kathryn groaned, "Is moving furniture your idea of foreplay?"

"Maybe."

Admiral Owen Paris looked at the latest datastream from Voyager, in particular a footnote in the logs. It was so simply stated he almost skimmed right over it, but he went back.

"Capt. Kathryn Janeway and Crewman Cassandra Wilkes joined in marriage."

Part of him felt Kathryn should be reprimanded for fraternizing with a member of her crew, but Voyager was a unique situation. He knew if he had found love on the other side of the galaxy it would be pursued, and it made him glad to know in Kathryn's case her love had bore fruit. There was no doubt in his mind regarding this, and when the next datastream was sent he enclosed a message for Captain Janeway.

"Captain Janeway," he wrote, "it is with a joyful heart that I - on behalf of Starfleet Command - congratulate you on your recent marriage. I wish you both the best of luck."

Kathryn cried when she read the letter, and knew it was official sanction for their relationship. She replicated a bottle of champagne, and a lovely dinner.

"What's this," Cassandra asked, entering their quarters.

Kathryn showed her wife the letter.

"You were right to tell Admiral Paris," Cassandra placed a kiss on Kathryn's lips, "and what smells good?"

Kathryn smiled, "Linguine. I replicated it myself."

"Should I notify Sickbay," Cassandra asked playfully.

"Maybe," Kathryn admitted.

She watched as Cassandra removed her jacket, throwing it on the couch. Cassandra could be a bit untidy sometimes, but so could Kathryn.

But some love was not meant to be.

Before celebrating their second anniversary Cassandra beamed down to an M-Class planet with an away team, to gather foodstuffs. It felt good to be outside again, the sun on her cheeks. Holographic sunlight was no substitute for the real thing. Her eyes drank in the foreign landscape, and it's alien beauty. She was one of a dozen survey teams on the surface, Voyager in orbit. Her mind drifted to the conversations she and Kathryn had been having, about having a child. Medically the Doctor informed them it was possible, but there were a lot of unknowns. Raising a child on a starship was treacherous at best, though little Miral Paris was doing well, and Naomi turned out better than okay. Still, it required a lot of thought. Could Kathryn be involved enough and still the Captain? Who would carry? Cassandra had joked that Kathryn carry and they put a bassinet in the Ready Room. In all seriousness, she was ready to start a family with the woman she loved.

"Wilkes to Ensign Ro," she hailed.

"Ro here."

"I'm detecting what might be tritanium deposit's a kilometre from the beam in site. Permission to investigate?"

"Granted."

She made her way there, her mind unfocused, thinking about other things. Cassandra did not see that the rock she had stepped on was unstable, and it collapsed under her weight. Upon falling she struck her head on a different rock, and lost consciousness.

"Report," Kathryn demanded, storming into Sickbay.

Cassandra was in the Surgical Bay, the Doctor and Tom tending her. On her head was a deep gash, but the wound was superficial compared to what else was going on.

"She suffered a brain hemorrhage when she fell," the Doctor explained, "and every time I stop one another starts somewhere else in her brain."

Kathryn stood next to Cassandra, "You talk as if there's nothing you can do."

"I'm sorry Captain," he replied, "the damage is to severe."

She shook her head, "How could this have happened? Who is responsible?"

"I am," whispered Cassandra, as she stirred.

Kathryn looked down at her wife, "I won't lose you."

Cassandra smiled weakly, "I'm so sorry Kathryn."

The Doctor motioned for Tom to give them some privacy. Kathryn found Cassandra's hand and entwined her fingers.

"I love you," she told her wife, "and if you get better I'll carry our baby, and put the bassinet in my Ready Room. I'll make Chakotay Captain and take leave so we can raise our baby. Don't you leave me, that's an order."

"You'll make an excellent mother," Cassandra replied, "and we'll have a crib next to our bed, and a soft fleece blanket."

Tears streaked from Kathryn's cheeks, "Yes. I want a daughter, to look just like you. I want us to raise her, have grandchildren, and I want to die before you, so I never have to live without you."

"Sounds nice," Cassandra became sleepy, and her vision started to blur, "but you may have to do it on your own."

"I can't," Kathryn shook her head, "not without you. I need you, please, don't leave me. I'm not sure I could be alone again."

"I love you," Cassandra whispered, fingering Kathryn's auburn locks. Her breath became laboured, and a dull ache came from her head.

Kathryn pressed her lips to Cassandra's, "I love you too. You're the best of me."

Kathryn watched in sadness as Cassandra's eyes fluttered closed, and as one woman's suffering ended another's was only beginning.


	3. Chapter 3

Admiral Janeway stood at the window, mug in hand, looking out over the Bay. From the height of her apartment she could see Voyager, now a museum, off in the distance. Her thoughts were dark, and she absentmindedly ran a hand through her snow white hair. The lines around her eyes and mouth betrayed her age, as well as the spots on her hands. Thirty years ago she had lost her. Ten years ago she got her crew home, but it wasn't the same. She put her hand to her cheek and was surprised to find them wet with tears, Kathryn hadn't cried in a long time. Footsteps approached her from behind, and strong masculine arms held her from behind.

"I hate it when you're like this," he whispered in her ear.

Kathryn turned and faced Chakotay, her husband of seven years, but her eyes refused to lock on his.

"It wasn't supposed to be this way," she told him, "this is wrong."

He sighed, "We both suffered losses on the journey home, but look what we've gained."

She turned back to the window, "Please, just leave me be."

After so long Chakotay knew better than to argue, insist she talk about her feelings. He knew she didn't love him, that he was a fill-in, but he'd done the same with her. When he lost Seven Chakotay thought he would never find love again, and he was right, because what he and Kathryn shared was not love. It hurt him to know that when Kathryn smiled in her sleep it was Cassandra she was dreaming of, and that she wore the ring from her first marriage instead of the one he had given her. He also knew she had not given up on finding a way to bring her wife back. B'Elanna had told him she'd sent Miral on some classified mission, to the Klingon home planet. She also told him she was assisting some Klingon named Korath get a chair on the High Council. Something about the entire situation smelled rotten.

He turned and walked back into their bedroom. On her nightstand she had a picture of them at their wedding, but she wasn't smiling. Chakotay opened the nightstand drawer and found the picture of Kathryn and Cassandra that the Doctor had taken at the engagement party. Kathryn's blue eyes sparkled, and he could not help but think of Seven, and when he had proposed. She was surprised, and cited most couples become engaged after a lengthy courtship, but he convinced her to skip ahead.

Then she died in a shuttle crash.

The loss sent him into a tailspin of depression and darkness, and Kathryn comforted him as he had done for her when Cassandra died. But neither of them were the same. The journey back to Earth was dark, and the joy of returning home dimmed by what had been lost. He tried to be a good husband for her, which is why he would not try to stop whatever she was planning.

Reginald finished his toast, and everyone was silenced by Kathryn's addition.

"And those of us who aren't here to celebrate it with us," she announced, and all the people in the room reflected on what had been lost.

Kathryn did her best to make small talk, and chatted with Harry for a few moments. It was their tenth reunion, on the anniversary of their return to the Alpha Quadrant.

B'Elanna sought Kathryn out when the Admiral was finally alone.

"Did you do it," Kathryn asked, before the woman could say hello.

"I did," B'Elanna replied, "I told them the truth, with a Klingon twist. I said my glorious former Captain, who had proved herself many times in battle, who be honored to submit the House of Koroth for consideration. I'm just a liaison, but I like to think I have some pull."

"Thanks," Kathryn avoided looking B'Elanna in the eye, "I hope it works."

"Us married women have to help each other out," B'Elanna joked, but Kathryn was lost in thought, "by the way, did you know Vulcans took over my home and forced Tom to recite Ferengi limericks?"

Kathryn nodded, "That's nice."

B'Elanna looked around to make sure nobody was eavesdropping, "Are you okay Kathryn? Something's not right, and what's with the mission you've sent my daughter on?"

"That's classified," Kathryn replied.

She sighed in frustration, "Could it have at least waited until after the reunion, she really wanted to be here."

Kathryn put her hand on B'Elanna's shoulder, "She'll be home soon. Don't worry."

B'Elanna looked deeply into Kathryn's eyes, "It's not her I'm worried about."

She said nothing in reply, only walk away. B'Elanna thought back to Kathryn's wedding to Cassandra, and how standing in the presence of their love had made her a bit jealous. To so many Kathryn was a commander, but after so long her subtle emotions were as blaring as anything shown. After Cassandra died Kathryn was never the same person, it was as if all joy had been lost, and all future joys tempered.

The console held the image of Miral Paris, an eager Ensign. Kathryn's heart began to beat, or at least she could feel it beating.

"Did you see it," she asked.

Miral replied, "Yes ma'am. It works."

She smiled, "And Korath has agreed to the exchange?"

"Yes," Miral looked down for a moment.

"But?"

"He wants to hand it over to you personally," she explained.

"I understand," Kathryn told Miral, "and I'll be there as soon as I can. Good work Ensign."

The display darkened, and Kathryn sighed. She placed an isolinear chip into the computer.

"Download Kathryn Janeway personal file Omega One One Three," she instructed the computer, and the computer carried out her request. Taking the chip she gently placed a kiss on it, and slipped it into her uniform pocket.

It was time to say her goodbyes.

She went to Tuvok in the hospital, and visited him. It broke her heart to seem him scattered, and confused. As she kissed him on the head and left she made a promise to succeed, to save him, and ultimately herself as well.

The Doctor arrived just on time, for an early physical. Kathryn tidied up her apartment and invited him to talk.

"How's married life," she asked him.

"Very well thanks," he paused, "I hope we can last as long as you and Chakotay have."

"I'm sure you will," Kathryn replied, making herself busy by folding her uniform, "by the way, I was meaning to ask you, are you familiar with a drug called Chronexaline?"

"Yes," he answered, "we've been testing it at Starfleet Medical to see if it can protect bio matter from tachyon radiation. The preliminary tests are very promising. Why do you ask?"

She put down her clothes, "I need two thousand milligrams by tomorrow afternoon."

"Why?"

"That's classified."

He sighed, "Of course Admiral, you'll have it by oh nine hundred."

After the Doctor had given her the drugs and Reginald had given her the go ahead to pick up her shuttle, it left only one final thing. She found him in their living room, reading a book, feet on the coffee table.

"Why do I feel you're about to leave me," he asked her, as she sat next to him.

Kathryn looked sad, "Because I am Chakotay. And don't tell me I'm being reckless, that I haven't considered all of the consequences, because I have."

"Can I talk you out of whatever insane thing you're going to do?"

"No."

"I know it wasn't easy for you Kathryn," he said carefully, "living all these years without her."

She reached out and touched his hand, "When I'm through, things might be better for all of us. Please, trust me."

Walking to their bedroom he did not say a word, but she heard the sound of her nightstand drawer being opened. A picture frame was in his hand, the picture she had hidden away for so long. She took it without saying a word, packing it in her duffel bag, but before she left he placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"I trust you."

The shuttle was ready, and she set a course for the moon where Korath was living. When she was introduced to the guards, they insulted her, Miral defended her, and she dismissed Miral. Seeing Miral brought back thoughts of children, and how Kathryn had once wanted to be a mother. Then… it was too painful to think about.

Korath proved to be deceptive and demanded her shield generator as well, and it angered her. Kathryn was so close to achieving her goal.

Fine, she decided to play by his rules.

She asked to see the device, to inspect it, and questioned Korath's honour in the process. He became angered, as she knew he would, and relented, she knew he'd do that as well. The tricorder scan revealed it would be exactly what she needed, and she slapped a transport enhancer on it and beamed back to her shuttle. After deploying the armour on her shuttle she went to warp to escape the pursuing Bird of Prey.

Then Harry found her.

"Harry," she greeted when he hailed, "and I've always heard space is so big."

"Admiral, lower your shields and prepare for transport," he ordered, "I'm taking you into custody."

She smirked, "You have no grounds to take me into custody, Captain."

"Reg told the Doctor everything," he told her, "and the Doctor told me."

"Alright," Kathryn agreed, "but you let me explain why I'm doing this."

He paced back and forth across his Ready Room, and it felt strange for Kathryn to be sitting in the guest seat.

"You have no idea what the consequences might be."

"I know what the consequences are if we do nothing," she said back, with no emotion, just a hint of exhaustion in her voice, "and so do you. I have a chance to change all that. To regain what we've lost."

"If this is about Cassandra-"

Her glare stopped him mid-sentence, "This is about a lot more than just her, but, yes, she is a part of it."

Harry shook his head, "If Starfleet Command knew…"

"You haven't told them?"

"No," he sat on the edge of his desk, "we decided to keep it in the family. As for my crew, I told them I have to take you back to Starfleet Medical, that you've contracted a rare disease."

"I hope it isn't terminal," she joked.

"No, but it had been known to affect judgement. Can you honestly say that you know what you're doing? Even if it weren't a violation of every rule in the book, it's far too risky."

She smiled.

"What," he asked her.

"I'm remembering a young Ensign," she explained, "who wanted to fly into a Borg-infested nebula on the remote chance it might lead home."

"As I remember you stopped me."

Kathryn met his eyes, and he could see her pain, "We didn't know then what we know now."

"Our technology may have advanced-"

"I'm not talking about technology I'm talking about people," she interrupted, "people who weren't as lucky as you and me. You want to keep things in the family? But our family is not complete anymore is it? I'm asking you to trust my judgement Harry, one last time."

He helped her install the device, and inoculate herself to the radiation. Logically he knew if her plan succeeded history would be rewritten, but it still felt like goodbye. When he informed her that the device would only work once, he found she already knew.

"I always assumed it was a one-way trip," she told him.

He stood, "You're sure I can't talk you out of this?"

Kathryn stood, and met his gaze.

"Right, stupid question."

She knew what she was doing, and did not doubt her conviction for a second, but it really was goodbye. Her hands found his cheeks, and pulled him in for one last embrace. When they were lost he had been a light, and when she was lost he had been a light again. He left in a shimmer of light, and she took up the helm. After thirty years of waiting she was going to save her and the others she had lost.

Somewhere, years earlier, Kathryn sat on her Bridge, as a rift opened in front of Voyager.

"The signature is Klingon," Tuvok informed her from Tactical.

She almost did not make it to the rift, but thankfully Harry had helped her out. When Voyager appeared in her window she wanted to cry, but she held back.

"Recalibrate your deflector to emit an anti-tachyon pulse. You have to seal that rift," she ordered her younger self. It felt weird, but she'd dealt with stranger things.

"It's usually considered polite to introduce yourself before you start giving orders," the Captain informed her.

"Close the rift," Kathryn ordered again, and she saw herself hesitate, "in case you didn't notice I outrank you Captain. Now do it."

She listened, and sealed the rift.

"I did what you asked," she said, "now tell me what the hell is going on."

Kathryn smiled, "I've come to bring Voyager home."

When she materilised on the Transporter Pad so many thoughts ran through her mind.

"Welcome aboard," the Captain greeted her.

She smiled, "It's good to be back."

They made their way to the Ready Room, and Kathryn inhaled the scent of fresh coffee as she entered. She could vividly remember the last time she drank the stuff. It was the morning after Cassandra died, and she was in their quarters. Coffee had been a central part of their morning routine, but that morning it tasted like her emotions, bitter.

"I only drink tea now," she informed her younger self, going to look out the window, "I told the curator at the museum if he wanted true authenticity he should always have a fresh pot on the desk."

"Voyager is in a museum?"

"Voyager is a museum," she explained, delicately touching her wedding band.

"You made it back to Earth," Kathryn exclaimed, joyous.

"Yes, but I'm afraid our favourite cup took a beating," she took the mug from Kathryn and inhaled the sweet brew. Somewhere on this ship was her Cassandra, probably at her usual station. A sigh escaped her.

Kathryn had come back to save her life, at the cost of their love.

Cassandra didn't find the first letter until a few months after they passed the nebula, and even if she had been looking, present Kathryn hadn't written it yet.

"Oh?"

Remembrance of her first day alone, and when she had taken her coffee mug in her hand, throwing it violently at the wall.

"In a battle with the Fendomar," she lied, "you'll run into them in a few years."

Her younger self did not want details, the Temporal Prime Directive.

She threw her head back, "Oh, the almighty Temporal Prime Directive. Take my advice, it's less of a headache if you just ignore it."

"Clearly you did, if you're here."

Looking sadly at herself she said, "A lots happened since I was you."

"Well I'm still me, and this is still my ship," she informed Kathryn, "so no more talk about the future until I decide otherwise. Understood?"

She gave the cup of coffee back, and decided to talk about the past instead. Telling Kathryn that the nebula they had passed would take them home, and that with the technology she brought she could get them home safely. When she saw mistrust in her own eyes she almost laughed.

"If what you say is true," she told the Admiral, "the future you come from is pretty good. Voyager is home, I'm an Admiral, there are ways to defend against the Borg, and I'm even married."

She immediately covered her ring.

"Did you think I didn't notice?"

Kathryn turned away and faced the window, "Why would you want to change all that? If you want an answer I'll have to tell you more than you're ready to hear. But to sum it up, if you don't go with my plan it's going to take you another sixteen years to get this crew home. And there will be casualties along the way, unacceptable losses. I know what you're thinking."

"Now you're a telepath?"

She almost smiled, "I was you once. You ask yourself if I am who I say I am. Or is this some sort of deception? For all you know I could be a member of Species 8472 in disguise. Have your people examine my shuttle, and pay close attention to the weapons and armour technology. In the meantime the Doctor can confirm my identity."

And he did. Finding some interesting technology along the way. Then Seven entered the room, and her breath caught. She missed her, and there she was.

"Hello Seven," she greeted.

The drone only nodded in her direction. She found it hard to believe she had once loved her, and was pained by her involvement with Chakotay. Now, she was only grateful, it had lead her to her true love. She agreed to implement the technology, and invited the Admiral for lunch.

"If you insist."

They went to the Mess Hall, talking about nothing important. She replicated two vegetable boullion, and they took a table in the corner.

"Cassandra," she gasped, she watched the crewman enter the room. Her stomach felt hollowed out by a knife, and her younger self followed her gaze. Kathryn covered her eyes, and looked away.

"What's wrong?"

She met the gaze of her younger self, "You don't want to know."

Part of her wanted to run over to her wife, take in her arms, and say how much she missed her. But that wasn't her wife, and now never would be. She pitied her younger self, because she would be missing out on a beautiful thing.

They continued with the enhancements, and as they neared completion Seven received a warning from the Borg Queen herself. She managed to convince them to stay their course. She had to, her love depended on it. Cassandra would not be allowed to die again.

After a trip back they re-entered the nebula. The Borg engaged them, but they were no match for Voyager and the armour technology. The torpedoes destroyed two vessels after only one or two shots. It looked like they were going to succeed. As they approached the centre the Hub appeared on the screen.

"What the Hell is it," Captain Janeway asked.

Kathryn ignored her, "Mr. Paris, set a course for aperture co-ordinates three four six by four two."

"Belay that," the other woman snapped, "I asked you a question, what is it?"

No, this could not be happening again to Kathryn. She would succeed.

"The road home," she said forcibly.

"It's more than that," Seven announced from her station, "it's a transwarp hub."

Realization dawned on Kathryn's face, "You once told me there were only six of them in the Galaxy."

"That's correct."

The Captain stood angrily from her chair and approached the Admiral, "You knew this was here and you didn't tell me about it. Why?"

"I'll answer all of your questions once we're back in the Alpha Quadrant," she promised.

She turned her head to Tom, "Take us out of the Nebula."

"Captain?"

"You heard me," she replied, but her older self did not give up.

"I gave you an order Lieutenant," the Admiral told Tom, "proceed to the aperture."

"This is my Bridge Admiral," she was informed, "and I'll have you removed if necessary. Take us out.

Tom looked nervously about the Bridge, hoping for intervention, "Aye Captain."

When they exited the Nebula she was ordered to Astrometrics, were Seven explained how the Hub was used by the Borg for invading other sectors of space.

Kathryn could only stare coldly into a console as her younger self asked, "So how do we destroy it?"

She did her best to dismiss on theory after another, until her younger self had enough and informed they were taking a walk.

"I want to know why you didn't tell me about this."

Kathryn sighed, "Because I remember how young and self-righteous I used to be, I figured you might try to do something stupid.

"We have an opportunity to deal a crippling blow to the Borg," the Captain argued, "it could save millions of lives."

"I didn't spend the past ten years looking for a way to get this crew home early just so you could throw it away on some intergalactic goodwill mission."

"Maybe we should go back to Sickbay," she said back.

The Admiral replied, "Why so you could have me sedated?"

"So I can have the Doctor reconfirm your identity," she answered and stopped walking, "I refuse to believe I'll ever become as cynical as you."

"Am I the only one experiencing deja-vu here," Kathryn asked herself.

"What are you talking about?"

"Seven years ago you had the chance to use the Caretaker's Array to get Voyager home, instead you destroyed it."

The Captain bowed her head, "I did what I knew was right."

"You choose to put the lives of strangers above that of your crew," she felt a knot in her throat thicken, "you can't make the same mistake again."

"You got Voyager home," she reminded, "which means I will too. If it takes a few more years-"

Kathryn had enough with her younger self. She was going to lose everything, again.

"I lost my wife twenty four years ago."

The Captain's jaw dropped, "What?"

"Three years from now, she'll be injured on an away mission. She makes it back to Voyager, only to die in my arms. Chakotay will also lose his wife, Seven of Nine."

The young Kathryn didn't know what to say, it was incredible.

"I don't believe you."

"Then look at this," the Admiral fished out the isolinear chip from her pocket, "and know that you'll never recover from her death. Neither will Chakotay ever be the same."

The young woman looked at the chip, "If I know what's going to happen I can avoid it."

"There's more," she said, "between this day and the day I got Voyager home I lost twenty-two crew members. And then of course there's Tuvok."

"What about him," her head snapped up.

The Admiral looked away, "You're forgetting the Temporal Prime Directive."

"The Hell with it," her fingers tightened around the chip.

"Fine," Kathryn relented, "Tuvok has a degenerative neurological condition that he hasn't told you about. There's a cure in the Alpha Quadrant, but if he doesn't get it in time…"

The Captain looked away.

"Even if you alter Voyager's route," she continued, "limit your contact with alien species, you're going to lose people. But I'm offering you a chance to get all of them home safe and sound _today_. Are you really going to walk away from that?"

She left the Admiral standing there, without a reply, and went to her Ready Room. For a long minute she stared at the chip on her desk. Already she'd violated temporal law, and part of her had to know. Kathryn inserted the chip, and a video playback started on her console. She saw herself, members of the crew, all in dress uniform. A wedding. First she thought it was Seven's, then she saw Seven in the crowd. She watched as a young woman entered the room, Crewman Wilkes, and walked towards her. Her eyes and ears refused to believe. Chakotay married them, and when Cassandra recited her vows Kathryn's heart swelled to see love between those two women. It then cut to a long entry.

"Captain's Personal Log, Supplemental," the woman on the screen began. The other version of Kathryn sounded tired, and sad.

"For two days I've been trying to compose this log, and even know I'm not sure if I can. Her funeral was this morning. Today was the day we had an appointment with the Doctor, genetic screening. She was the light in my world, and I don't know how I'll live my life, alone, without her. Cassandra was everything I needed, not necessarily what I wanted, but she made me better. For a brief moment, I thought I might be happy. I await the day we're reunited. End log."

She didn't realize she was crying until tears hit her desk, and she understood her counterpart a lot better. The woman had lost her wife. Even Kathryn could understand the pain. Part of her wished to know how she and Cassandra had come to be together, after all, they were worlds apart.

The sound of Tuvok entering the room interrupted her reverie, and he entered her room. She tucked the chip away, and he confirmed what the Admiral had said. But he was not against her destroying the Hub, and it made her feel confident to have even one ally.

Admiral Janeway pleaded with Seven to talk some sense into the younger Kathryn, but Seven was unyielding. Kathryn told her about her marriage, and how her death would destroy Chakotay. Seven said she could avoid her death, and - if not- her death was meaningless in comparison to destroying the Hub. Eventually Seven left the Cargo Bay, and Kathryn went to the Briefing Room.

She was surprised to see Kathryn put the choice in the hands of her crew this time, not like before. It warmed her long cold heart to see her crew rally behind her, to fight the good fight. In that instant she knew what had to be done.

"Coffee black," she ordered from the replicator.

Her younger self watched, "I thought you gave it up."

The taste brought back fond memories, and Kathryn realized how many years she'd wasted mourning Cassandra. She should have celebrated her life, and the love they shared, instead she'd let something beautiful become twisted.

"I've decided to revive a few of my old habits," she explained, looking out into the stars.

Kathryn looked up at her older self, "I want to ask you something, but I don't want to cause you grief."

"Ask me about Cassandra, anything you want to know."

"How did the two of you get together?"

She smiled at the memories of the early days.

"Well, it started with a broken heart," she explained, "and I wrote a letter to nobody and put it in a random file. Cassandra works in computer maintenance and came across it, and a few others. But she wouldn't take the risk. So I had to, and she accepted me, flaws and all."

"You truly loved her."

She looked over to her younger self, "I came back to a time before we started exploring our feelings. Yes, I save her life, but you'll never know her love."

"It happened once," her younger self said, "it could happen again."

The Admiral smiled, "I hope so. I'd almost forgotten how idealistic I was. I took more risks. I was so determined to get this crew home I forgot how much they love being together, and their loyalty to you. I was wrong to lie to you, and to think I could talk you out of something you'd set your mind to."

Kathryn reached into her pocket again, to pull out a small band with diamond chips.

"Twenty four years I've held on," she handed the ring to her younger self, "and now it's time to let go. I'll help you destroy the Hub."

The Captain's hand held the ring lovingly, and her thoughts turned to the young crewman.

"Maybe we can do more than that," she said, "there's got to be a way to have our cake and eat it too."

"We can't destroy the Hub and get Voyager home."

"Are you absolutely sure about that?"

Kathryn took a deep sip from her coffee, and looked into the abyss. In it she saw Cassandra's face, and knew it was time.

"There might be a way," Kathryn relented, "I considered it once, but it seemed too risky."

The Captain smiled, "That was before you decided to revive your old habits."

She took a deep whiff of the coffee, and was flooded with memories. The smell of Cassandra rousing her from sleep, the taste of their coffee flavoured kisses, and the scent of her jasmine hair. Her old eyes wanted to weep, but she held back.

"I don't know why I ever gave this up."


	4. Chapter 4

The picture of them found it's way from her things and onto the console in front of her. She looked at the picture, smiled at how happy they were. Kathryn looked to see her younger self enter the shuttle.

"I'm not getting any younger, you know," she joked, and Kathryn looked at the picture.

"What's that?"

Kathryn picked up the picture, "It was the day I proposed. The Doctor took it."

The younger woman looked at herself, happy, and felt a twinge of sadness. She loaded the hypospray and approached the Admiral.

"You sure you want to do this?"

The Admiral shook her head, "No, but Voyager isn't big enough for both of us."

She sighed as her younger self injected her. They avoided eye contact.

"Good luck, Admiral."

"You too."

She went to exit the shuttle.

"Captain," Kathryn called, "she was worth it, and I'm glad I got to know you again."

The shuttle door hissed closed and she entered her flight plan. Her shuttle flew into the nebula, and through a transwarp hub. She looked back at Voyager one last time. Her shuttle parked next to the heart of a major Borg structure Kathryn looked at the picture of Cassandra.

"See you soon."

She engaged the synaptic interface, and taunted the Borg Queen. Kathryn bargained for Voyager, promising to tell the Queen how to adapt to the torpedoes. The Queen wanted more. She demanded the shuttle and its database, and she relented, on the condition Voyager get to the Alpha Quadrant first. Then the Queen revealed her trump card, and transported Kathryn to her. It took the Queen only a second to inject her assimilation tubules, and the pain was intense. She collapsed, as implants sprouted from her face, but managed a smile when the Queen began to lose voices. The plan had worked.

"What have you done," the Queen demanded.

Kathryn smiled, "I thought we didn't need words to understand each other?"

"You've infected us with a neurolytic pathogen."

"Just enough to bring chaos to order," she announced weakly, her consciousness fading.

The Queen smiled, "Voyager will be destroyed."

"They're ahead of the shockwave," she argued, "They'll survive. Captain Janeway and I made sure of that. It's you who underestimated us."

She watched in horror as the Queen ripped another limb off, and she stood face to face with the Queen. The Borg managed to find a Sphere, and directed it to Voyager. For a brief moment the Admiral feared defeat. Then the Queen collapsed to the floor.

"Captain Janeway is about to die," the Queen announced, "if she has no future you never exist, and nothing you've done here today will happen."

Kathryn could barely stand the pain, her blood burned with agony. She felt the explosions, but did not close her eyes to the world. So many things happened in less than a fraction of a second.

Just as she had been in the Queen's Chamber a moment ago she now stood in a room, white as far as the eye could see. She looked at her hands, now much younger, but she still felt very much alone. A figure approached, blurry and wispy, but seemed to become solid as it got closer.

"Cassandra," Kathryn gasped, as the younger woman approached.

Her wife held out her arms and Kathryn fell into them, as she had dreamed of doing for so long. Cassandra's hair still smelt like jasmine, just as she remembered.

She looked into her lover's hazel eyes, "Tell me I'm not dreaming again."

"You're not dreaming, Kathryn," Cassandra entwined her fingers with Kathryn's, "I'm here. I've been waiting for you. I missed you."

"There was nobody else," Kathryn whispered, "only you."

"I know," the young woman stroked Kathryn's cheek.

For a long moment they said nothing, only basked in the presence of the other.

"What happens now," Kathryn asked, and as if on cue the room began to fade.

"We disappear," she replied, pulling Kathryn close, "and hope maybe our counterparts can find love."

Kathryn shook her head, "I feel like I'm losing you all over again."

"No," Cassandra told her, "love like ours is never truly lost."

"There's so much I wanted to tell you," Kathryn held fast to her wife.

Cassandra smiled, "We have the rest of our lives."

As Kathryn placed a kiss on Cassandra's lips they faded into nothingness, having never existed in the first place.

She was hailed as a hero, and promoted to Admiral upon returning to Earth, just as her other self had been. In the weeks to follow her family scattered after being debriefed. Kathryn returned to Indiana , to relax after seven years of being the person everyone counted on. After two days in her family's home she went to the willow, split by lightning years ago, and dug a small hole with her hands. The soft dirt felt good between her fingers, and she kneeled before her hole.

"Thanks for your sacrifice," Kathryn said, and took out the chip and ring her counterpart had given her. She had planned to bury them here, to forget about what could have been, but something stopped her.

She knew why.

At their welcome ceremony Cassandra had been there, in her dress uniform, and it flooded Kathryn with thoughts of their wedding. Her fingers fondled the chip, and the video she only watched once. She sighed at her childishness, and chided herself for such emotions. Instead she took her Captain's pips from her pocket, and buried them there.

"Access personnel file Cassandra Wilkes," she ordered her computer, and Cassandra's profile populated on the screen. She found out that upon graduating the Command Track at Starfleet Academy she had been given a post aboard Deep Space Six, but abandoned her post when the Treaty was signed. Her home planet, Deidra Six, was ruthlessly assaulted by secret Cardassian agents, and she enlisted in the Maquis under Chakotay. She was a very useful young woman, and had a knack for procuring hard to get supplies, especially the illegal kind. On Voyager she worked seven years in computer maintenance, just simply doing her job. Kathryn paused and looked at the photo on file. It showed Cassandra in a Command uniform, two gold pips on her neck. Somehow Kathryn had completely overlooked the young woman's existence. There was also a note saying she had refused to have her rank reinstated, opting instead for life as a civilian. An address in Tokyo was listed at the bottom of the report.

Kathryn fought with her decision for several days, before deciding to contact Cassandra, and when she did she made a lame excuse of wanting to go over a report she had written. In truth she wanted to observe the woman closely, to solve the mystery of why they had gotten married. Cassandra was prompt in showing up for their meeting, and when she walked in Kathryn almost gasped. She was beautiful. Her shirt was teal silk, and her pants flared. Kathryn smiled to see sandaled feet and painted toes peeking out from the hem of her pants, very un-Starfleet.

"Admiral," Cassandra stood at attention, "you wished to see me."

"Please, sit," she motioned to the chair across from her.

She sat, leaning back into the chair, hands folded on her lap, it took Kathryn a moment to realize she was staring, and Cassandra had noticed.

"Was there an error in one of my reports," she asked, maintaining professionalism.

Kathryn sighed, "No. They were all flawless."

Cassandra looked uncomfortable, "Then may I ask why I beamed to San Francisco to meet you?"

"That's exactly it," Kathryn stood, and came around her desk, "in seven years we've never spoken."

"That's not true," she replied, "we spoke twice. The first time was when the Kazon had abandoned us on that alien world, and you told me I had to give up some of my hair."

Kathryn smiled as she remembered, "You told me you'd rather starve, so I ordered you to do it."

"That's right," Cassandra agreed, "Then the next time was at the talent show. You told me I was in your seat so I moved."

As Kathryn stood and walked over to her replicator she smelled something flowery. She was puzzled; the scent was sweet, but bold.

"What's that scent?"

Cassandra looked around, "I beg your pardon?"

She walked closer to the young woman, "It's you. What's that aroma?"

"Jasmine," she explained, "I use it on my hair. Seven years and I blew all of my replicator rations on shampoo."

Kathryn chuckled, "I see why you were so adamant to keep it. I'm sorry I made you cut it."

Cassandra's eyes fell to her feet, "I actually disobeyed you. Terry messed up my hair to make it look like it had been cut."

"It must be very important to you."

"It is," Cassandra's hazel eyes became dark, "my mother loved my hair, and it was just like her own. I used to do her hair and she did mine. Then the Cardassians tortured her until she died."

"I'm sorry," Kathryn whispered, slightly shocked by her candor.

The young woman looked away, "It was a long time ago."

"I want to ask you something," Kathryn stepped close to Cassandra, "you had a brilliant career ahead of you in Starfleet, and you served admirably aboard Voyager, but you refused reinstatement of your rank?"

"I did," Cassandra nodded, "because I could not wear the uniform for another moment. When the Federation signed the Treaty they doomed everyone I cared about. Those that managed to join the Maquis only died in the rebellion. I had no choice but to serve on Voyager, but I have a choice now. Seven years in the Delta Quadrant, alone, and now that we're back I get live here, alone."

Silence separated them, and Kathryn realized she'd made a mistake. This young woman hated everything she held dear.

"Permission to be dismissed," Cassandra requested, and Kathryn only nodded. She walked out of the room and out of Kathryn's world.

Cassandra returned to Tokyo , and to her penthouse apartment. Business was good. She got involved in the "shipping" business again, and her clientele included some big names. The Ferengi loved her, the Klingons drank with her, and her accounting logs were wanted by Starfleet Intelligence. Kathryn irritated her, and the entire meeting confused her. She was also unsettled by the way Kathryn looked at her, and the emotions it stirred. A young Japanese girl entered the room, carrying a sake tray.

"Thanks Ami," Cassandra poured herself a glass, and let the hot liquid burn a path down her throat.

She hailed a contact of hers, "Hello Vi. I have a job for you."

The woman on the screen wore a Starfleet uniform, "I can't Cassandra, they might catch me."

"Not that sort of job," Cassandra smiled, "I need you to track the movements of Admiral Kathryn Janeway. I think she might be investigating me. Let me know when she goes off world, and transmit me the co-ordinates of her living quarters."

She terminated the conversation and returned to her sake.

The opportunity came two weeks later, and Cassandra transported to Kathryn's apartment. Her security was actually easily bypassed, and Cassandra looked around the place. It was simply done, photos scattered about, but her interest was the computer. She pulled out her modified tricorder, and downloaded the database. Definitely she was breaking half a dozen laws, and violating Kathryn's privacy. But Cassandra had to know.

Then the lights came on, and Cassandra hid in Kathryn's closet. She was not supposed to be back for anther week; Cassandra made a mental note to kick Vi.

Kathryn was in the living room, and the closet door was open a crack. She tried to enter commands into her tricorder for a beam out, but the security shielding had been activated when Kathryn returned.

Then everything got strange.

The Admiral entered her bedroom, and sighed. She unzipped her jacket, and removed her shirt, and Cassandra tried to look away. But something about Kathryn's body stopped her.

Auburn hair and blue eyes drew her in, and Cassandra tried to remind herself this was no ordinary woman, this was her Captain, but her body had other ideas. A deep flush covered her skin, and when Kathryn was completely disrobed Cassandra felt a familiar ache.

However, Kathryn remained oblivious to Cassandra's presence, having returned from a colony near Deep Space Four to renegotiate an expiring treaty. While becoming an Admiral was a promotion she missed being a Captain. She missed her family too. Life was not the same without her friends by her side. Kathryn sat on her bed, and buried her face in her hands. A sob escaped her lips, followed by another, until her entire body shook with grief.

Cassandra wanted to reveal herself, to put her arms around Kathryn, hold her at a time like this. But if Kathryn saw her now she'd only be angry.

Eventually Kathryn cried herself to sleep.

"Kathryn," Cassandra whispered, and the only reply was the deep breathing of sleep.

She should have run for the door, but she didn't. She should have left well enough alone, but she didn't. Instead she covered Kathryn with a blanket, and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

Then she left.

Sunlight roused Kathryn from sleep, and she sat up in bed. The night was hazy but she recalled a strange dream. What did it mean if Kathryn was dreaming about Cassandra at night, and thinking of her kiss? So much confliction inside her heart. She dressed in her uniform, and for the first time it felt like a prison. Kathryn opened the drawer in her nightstand and pulled out the chip and the ring. Frustrated, she rubbed her temples.

"Cassandra was everything I needed," the voice echoed in her ears, "not necessarily what I wanted."

She decided she needed some advice from her best friend, and invited Chakotay to dinner. He showed up out of uniform, and so was she, carrying a bottle of wine.

"Not replicated," he told her, greeting her with a hug.

"What's new," she asked, as they finished up dinner.

He smiled, "Seven and I are moving in together."

"I'm so happy for you," Kathryn replied.

"You might try it sometime."

She paused, "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

Standing from the table she motioned for him to follow him into her office. Kathryn played the contents of the chip for him, and stayed silent when the screen went black.

"Where did you get this," he asked.

"Admiral Janeway," she replied, "apparently had we not used the Hub this would have happened."

Chakotay dismissed it though, "We've been exposed to alternate futures before. This is one possible outcome of many."

"I can't get her out of my head," Kathryn admitted, "and I had a dream about her."

"How can I help?"

Kathryn looked at him fondly, "A vision quest."

He nodded, and told her he would have to go home and retrieve his medicine bundle.

Her hand on the akoonah, as he chanted in the background. The familiar tingling sensation crept up her arm, until she knew she was somewhere else. She opened her eyes, shocked to find herself back on Voyager, and in her quarters. They were arranged differently, and unfamiliar objects dotted the room. A picture was on a table, the one Admiral Janeway had shown her. She picked it up lovingly, smiling.

"I thought you had Bridge duty," said a young woman as she entered the room. It was Cassandra, in a bathrobe, looking fresh from the shower.

She shook her head, "I left."

"Playing hooky Captain," Cassandra said playfully, "okay, I have my time on the holodeck right now. Care to join me?"

Kathryn shook her head, "No thanks. Next time."

"Okay," Cassandra placed a quick kiss on her lips and retreated into the bedroom.

Kathryn quickly left the room, a torrent of emotions washing over her. Her pulse quickened, and her head span. That was her wife. Her much beloved wife.

In the real world Kathryn shook out of her vision, and saw Chakotay kneeling next to her.

"Are you alright," he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"No," she said, "I'm so confused right now."

"Give it time."

And she did, months.

Kathryn continued being the Admiral, and never sought out Cassandra, but the young woman was also not far from her thoughts. Invites started circulating, to the one year anniversary of their return. She would be there, of course, but so might Cassandra. Over the months Kathryn had kept tabs on her life, watching her find success in business.

It was Wednesday, and the night was warm. Hundreds of people showed up, and Kathryn was glad to be lost in the crowd. Almost every member of the crew thanked her personally, for their safe return, but she did not see Cassandra. It put a damper on the evening.

Terry knocked again, knowing she heard him.

"Cassandra," he yelled, and overrode the lock on her door. She was on her couch, in her robe.

"I'm not going," she said as he entered, "and you can't make me."

He folded his arms, "You haven't even told me why. Everyone is going to be there, except you. Are you trying to prove a point?"

She nodded, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"And what would that be?"

"I don't like Starfleet."

He wasn't buying it.

"You're lying," he accused, "this is something else. I want you there Cassy. Come, for me."

She sighed, "Fine."

Terry smiled, "Are you going to change?"

Cassandra removed her robe to reveal a strapless white dress. He complimented her as she found a pair of heels.

"I'm doing this for you only."

Kathryn's breath caught in her throat when she saw Cassandra. The conversation continued around her, but her mind was lost. She had to talk to her.

After champagne had made several rounds Kathryn finally got her chance. Terry had left her side to talk to someone.

"Admiral," Cassandra greeted.

"Hello Miss Wilkes."

Cassandra took a sip of her drink, "I owe you an apology, for my behaviour in our meeting. You were trying to be friendly and I was very rude."

"Thank you," Kathryn accepted a glass of champagne, "and I owe you one as well. Perhaps I can make it up to you sometime."

"That's not necessary."

Kathryn pushed, "I insist. One dinner."

"Okay," Cassandra agreed, a light flush on her cheeks, "I'd like that."

"I'll be in touch."

Kathryn felt like a schoolgirl again, wondering when would be the right time to send a message to Cassandra. Little did she knew the woman in Tokyo waited around to hear from her. Three days after the anniversary Kathryn hailed her, and was happy to see she was home.

"Hello," Cassandra said, with a soft smile.

"I hope I'm not interrupting you."

"Not at all, what can I do for you," as if she didn't know why Kathryn was calling.

"If you have time this Friday would you like to have dinner with me," she asked, folding her hands in front of the desk in front of her.

"Sure," Cassandra replied, "there's a very nice sushi place near here, or did you have somewhere in mind?"

"Sushi sounds lovely," Kathryn looked into the lovely hazel eyes of the young woman, "I'll see you Friday."

When Kathryn transported to the restaurant she was lead into a private room, and found Cassandra already kneeling at the table.

"Admiral," Cassandra greeted, "please, sit."

The waitress poured them a glass of green tea and left the room.

"It occurs to me that we're no longer in a command structure, call me Kathryn."

"Kathryn," Cassandra liked how the name felt in her mouth, "okay."

They made small talk, and ordered their dinner. Kathryn found the young woman to be exceptionally bright, humorous, and engaging. When the meal arrived Kathryn had difficulties with the chopsticks.

"Let me help you," Cassandra offered, and leaned over the table. She took her hands and adjusted Kathryn's fingers, and where she touched the flesh became heated.

After the utensils were in place Cassandra's hand lingered for a moment, and Kathryn slowly met Cassandra's gaze. Their eyes made contact only for a second, but she saw a flicker.

"Thank-you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. The waitress entered, breaking the reverie, and began to clear the table.

Cassandra's hands snapped back.

"Anything more," the waitress asked.

"Sake," Cassandra ordered, "would you like a nightcap?"

Kathryn nodded, "Please."

When she picked up the sake glass Cassandra stopped her from drinking.

"A toast," she explained, raising her glass, "to the Delta Quadrant."

Kathryn clinked cups, "I'll drink to that."

They toasted their way through two bottles. Kathryn could feel her legs losing feeling.

"I've kept you up," Cassandra said, "perhaps we should call it a night."

The Admiral nodded, "Agreed. Where's the transport?"

"I'll walk you," Cassandra offered.

"Just let me pay the bill."

Cassandra laughed, "Nope. Already taken care of."

Kathryn shook her head, "I invited you out. I pay."

"I own the restaurant," Cassandra told her, "so, your money is no good here."

Kathryn threw up her hands, "You win."

They walked in easy conversation to the transporter, and both were sad to see the evening end. Though Kathryn could not see them being anything more than friends she knew it would be a worthwhile friendship.

Over the next few weeks they found excuses to meet, have coffee, or lunch, and gradually their connection deepened.

Kathryn looked up as Admiral Paris entered her office, and from the look on his face she new it was no social call.

"Hello Admiral," she greeted, and took a sip of her coffee.

He nodded, "I'm afraid I have an assignment for you Admiral, from Starfleet Intelligence."

"Sounds intriguing," Kathryn replied, "what's the assignment?"

Admiral Paris sighed, "They want you to gather intelligence from a former member of your crew. The charges are drug smuggling, black market arms dealings, and the list goes on. It's also been suspected that members of Starfleet Command are not to be trusted."

"A member of my crew," Kathryn shook her head, "and just whom might that be?"

"Cassandra Wilkes," he told her, "you may not know this but before Voyager she was very active in the Maquis."

"No offence, Admiral," Kathryn felt the protective urge she felt when ever someone threatened a member of her crew, "but we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant until recently."

Admiral Paris nodded, "What if I told you she broke into your home and downloaded your database?"

"I beg your pardon."

"Starfleet Intelligence confirmed it," he told her, "you're home was broken into. We had to be careful. There's a leek from within Command."

Kathryn did not like this situation, "Was I under suspicion?"

"Yes," he admitted, "you were high ranking and close to her. A lot of people are under suspicion."

"Why hasn't she been arrested," she asked.

"Not enough evidence," he explained, "and no witnesses. We thought we had someone to testify, but she got to him somehow. Admiral, I'm afraid her actions may have dire consequences. Some feel she may try to resurrect the Maquis Rebellion."

"Why would she do that," Kathryn disagreed, "the Rebellion ended years ago."

Admiral Paris looked at Kathryn, "She's a wolf in sheep's clothing, with a vendetta. Cassandra Wilkes wants to watch the Federation burn in chaos."

She shook her head, "Something isn't right. I know her, she understands things."

"Admiral, she understands you because she has your personal logs," he told her, "and she is manipulating you."

She took a few steps from her desk, and looked out over the bay. Her heart hardened. She was blind, again. Betrayed, again.

"I'll do whatever I can do."


	5. Chapter 5

Cassandra watched in agony as Kathryn walked towards her window, and told the Admiral she would go through with the mission. Vi had bugged her office months ago, so there was little Cassandra was unaware of. The thing which hurt the most was Kathryn's lack of faith in her. Yes, she did download her logs, but she had never read them. She was on a slippery slope, and wanted out of her dark world.

"Damn it," she screamed, slamming her fists on the table in front of her.

Admiral Paris was right as well, part of her wanted to watch the Federation burn, but there was another side to her. A side of her wanted to give up her crime, and be able to be a part of Kathryn's world.

"Ami," she called, and the young woman entered the room, never being far away.

"Yes miss?"

"Get my ship ready," she ordered, "send a message ahead to Thadial Bokar of the Orion Syndicate. Tell him I wish to sell all of my holdings, and that the offer will be more than generous."

Ami looked down, "That's suicide. You know too much about them."

Cassandra nodded, "I know. But I'd rather a chance at a normal life than none at all."

In a warehouse a figure immersed in shadows approaches a long, metallic cylinder. The figure placed a small device on the object, and on it's side the label read 'Tricobalt Warhead'. A hand taps a tricorder, and the warhead dematerializes. The light illuminates the figure, and a Starfleet Science Division uniform is revealed. An evil smile cuts across the mysterious man's face.

Her fingers danced across the controls, and her small ship left the shipyard. The _Jasmine_ was it's name, a two deck vessel perfect for evading other starships and Federation inspections. It was an amalgamation of the technologies from many different races, and Cassandra's own unique design.

"Requesting final clearance for launch," she hailed the control centre.

"There's been a situation," the voice replied, "power down your engines and prepare to be boarded."

"I can't do that," Cassandra told them, engaging her shields and powering her engines. Her sensors picked up a shuttle on an intercept course

She swore, and tried engaging her cloak. A tractor beam destabilized her shields, and Cassandra felt herself being transported.

They escorted her to Starfleet Command, and two armed Security guards stood by the Briefing Room doors she was in. She knew Kathryn's footsteps from down the hall, and her heart sank as Admiral Paris and Janeway entered the room. Cassandra was wearing a tight fitting black top, black pants, and combat boots. She looked like a criminal.

"Cassandra Wilkes," Kathryn said, standing next to the table, "you've been arrested on suspicion of stealing a weapon from Starfleet Command."

"I didn't steal anything," Cassandra responded, "search my ship."

"You refused to co-operate with the authorities," Owen said, "and you were on course to a known criminal hotspot."

Cassandra looked at Kathryn, "If I stole a weapon do you really think I'd file a flight plan?"

"I don't know what to think," Kathryn replied, looking wounded, "but you're actions call to mind many questions. How do I know this isn't more lies?"

Cassandra felt the knife in her heart, "I have never lied to you."

"Omission is still lying."

"I'm sorry," Cassandra replied.

"You broke into my home," Kathryn accused, "and downloaded my personal logs?"

"Yes," she replied, as Kathryn looked away in disgust.

"What about the missing weapon," Admiral Paris interjected.

"I don't know what happened to your weapon, what is it anyways?"

"A tricobalt warhead," Kathryn said, "highly destructive. If in the wrong hands it could start another war or end one."

Cassandra stood, and placed her hands on the table.

"I didn't steal this warhead," Cassandra said slowly, "but I might be able to find it for you."

"Do you honestly believe I'm going to let you waltz out of here," spat Kathryn.

"Are you charging me with a crime?"

"Not at this time," answered Admiral Paris.

"Then you can't hold me," Cassandra informed them.

Kathryn bowed her head, she was right. They had laws to protect people for a reason. She paused in contemplation.

"You're right," Kathryn motioned towards the door, "then leave."

Cassandra stopped before exiting the doors, "I really believe I can be of help. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I don't want people to get hurt."

Admiral Paris spoke, "If you help us find the warhead I'll have all criminal records expunged, and all investigations into you ceased."

She nodded, "Okay. I'm due on New Sydney to meet a very important man, he'll be able to find your weapon, and I can make inquiries."

"You're not going alone," Kathryn announced, "I'm going with you."

"You can't," said Admiral Paris, "it's outside of Starfleet jurisdiction."

"I know," replied Kathryn, "I'll go as a civilian."

"Absolutely not," Cassandra said, "it's far too dangerous."

As usual Kathryn was able to talk her way in the mission. Kathryn changed out of her uniform and into an outfit similar to Cassandra's. They cleared the checks and set course for New Sydney, two days away. Plenty of time to not talk to one another.

Cassandra maintained a respectful distance from Kathryn, but on the dawn of day two they spoke.

"Coffee," Cassandra offered, going over to the replicator.

Kathryn grumbled, "Sure."

"Cream or sugar?"

"Black please."

"Two coffees, black," she ordered, taking up the mugs when they appeared. Walking back to the Helm she handed one to Kathryn. Their fingers touched for a second, and she felt the familiar heat. Kathryn turned away, sipping at the mug.

"Why me," Kathryn asked suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

"There's a lot of higher ranking people than me," explained Kathryn, "yet you targeted me, why?"

"I thought you were investigating me," replied Cassandra, "clearly I was right."

They sat in silence for several minutes.

"You had no right," Kathryn said eventually, "to read my personal logs."

Cassandra turned and looked Kathryn in the eyes, "I never read them."

"But you downloaded them?"

"Yes."

Kathryn looked angry, "And you forced your way into my home."

Cassandra looked away.

"When did you do it?"

"Two weeks after our meeting," said Cassandra.

The older woman thought hard for a moment, and a realization dawned on her.

"Was I home?"

"No," Cassandra lied, "you were away."

They went back to silence after that, and Cassandra preferred it to the lies she had to tell. Sometimes she would catch Kathryn looking at her, a saddened look on her face.

Kathryn watched Cassandra, and her emotions roiled inside her. She was hurt and angry, but part of her felt alive again. It reminded her of being in the Delta Quadrant, throwing caution to the wind and fighting the good fight. Kathryn felt like herself again. She sighed, and finished her coffee. She could see a darkness in Cassandra that matched her own. The way Cassandra betrayed her, it hurt like hell. For a brief moment in Kathryn's world she had someone who wanted nothing from her. Sometimes she felt she gave to much of herself, and had a hard time saying just who she really was. A Starfleet Admiral, a hero, a good daughter, and proper woman. She was unbearably alone. None could touch her core, and this young woman had been close. So close it scared Kathryn. Pressed against her pocket was the chip and the ring, as they were always with her.

"Will you be honest with me," Kathryn asked, a few hours later.

"Yes."

Kathryn looked at Cassandra, "Why are in the business you're in?"

"I told you about my mother," Cassandra began, "well, she ran a bar. I learned a lot from the people passing through, and I discovered I had a talent for computers and getting things past people. When I was six I bypassed the command codes on the replicator to get a cookie after my mom said no."

"But you joined Starfleet," Kathryn replied.

"I blame that on my mom," Cassandra smiled at some unspoken memory, "she told me to use my skills to help people. Starfleet was a good choice. Then she died, so I joined the Maquis. Part of me enjoyed watching Starfleet try so hard to figure out my methods."

"Is it true you once smuggled a load of Maraji Crystals after it was inspected by Starfleet on three different occasions," Kathryn asked.

"Yes."

"How?"

Cassandra sighed, "When the boarding party beamed over I piggybacked another beam and transported the load to their Cargo Hold. They should have searched their ship."

"Seven years in Computer Maintenance," remarked Kathryn, "clearly you wasted your skills."

"I doubt you would have had much use for my particular talents," Cassandra replied, "they weren't exactly Starfleet approved methods."

Kathryn nodded, "True."

"Besides," continued Cassandra, "my position was unimportant. Most of the work I programmed the computer to do and put my feet up."

"I'm sure someone caught on."

She shook her head, "Not in seven years. I also taught my friend Terry all of my tricks. Once we wanted to get away for a few hours so I shut down the Holodeck for 'maintenance' and went kayaking."

"Clearly my First Officer wasn't as sharp as I thought," Kathryn paused for a long moment, "do you ever miss it?"

Cassandra turned away from Kathryn, making busy with the Helm.

"Everyday I think about what could have happened had your future self not come," said Cassandra, "and I miss Voyager. You?"

Now Kathryn looked away, thinking of what the future could have been for them.

"Everyday."

The young woman stood, and as she passed by Kathryn she put a hand on her shoulder.

"More coffee?"

Kathryn handed Cassandra her mug, "Please."

A few hours later they were in orbit around New Sydney.

"Scans aren't detecting the warhead," Kathryn announced, "but that doesn't mean anything."

"I have a contact, Bokar, he frequents at a nightclub. He should be there now, and I can arrange a meeting for tomorrow," explained Cassandra, "besides, he's expecting me."

Kathryn shot Cassandra a suspicious glance, "May I ask why?"

"I'm selling all of my deals, and getting out of this type of business."

"I don't understand," said Kathryn, "you're very good, and doing very well yourself."

When Kathryn met the gaze of Cassandra she could see the flicker.

"There's more important things than money."

Kathryn changed the subject, "Where is this nightclub?"

"You're not coming," Cassandra argued, "if I walk in there with Admiral Janeway I'm dead."

"You're a civilian," Kathryn answered, "and I'm an Admiral."

"This is my ship, you're staying," replied Cassandra, "and even if you did go it's a rough place. Not exactly the type of crowd you're used to."

"I can handle myself, I assure you."

She paced into the storage room, and came back with a medkit.

"Fine," relented Cassandra, "but you're going in disguise."

Using a dermal regenerator and some clever make-up she turned Kathryn into a dark haired Bajoran, complete with an earring. She still resembled Kathryn, but unless someone knew her it was unlikely she would be recognized.

They heard the loud music from outside the building, and together headed for the door.

"Stay close," she ordered Kathryn, "and let me do the talking."

Entering the establishment Kathryn's eyes adjusted to the dim light. There was a stage in the middle of the room, and each table had a pole through it, for the dancers. Everything was in full swing. Tables bustled with members of different species, all drinking. In the corner at a private booth Cassandra spotted Thadial.

"The PtaQ dares return," said a large Klingon male, blocking their path.

Cassandra almost sighed at recognizing K'Vout of the K'Mpec House.

"K'Vout, my old friend," she greeted, slapping the man on the back, "how have you been?"

"I have been hunting you," he informed her, his cronies creating a semicircle around them. Two human females versus four Klingon Males, Cassandra liked her odds.

"Did you miss me?"

"No more of your games," he hollered, grabbing Cassandra by the throat, "you dishonoured the House of K'Mpec, and your blood will cleanse it."

"This must be some sort of misunderstanding," Kathryn spoke.

One of the other Klingons spoke, "I say we slit the throat of the PtaQ and take her woman as a trophy."

In one swift motion Cassandra pulled the knife from K'Vout's waist, and put it to his jugular.

"Today would not be a good day to die," she said angrily, "and I have no fight with you. Let me strengthen you noble warriors with drink. You can kill me anytime, but tonight let us drink to the honour of K'Vout, who's victories have reached my ears. Tell the story of the battle on the outer colonies, how you took down six Romulans with your bare hands."

K'Vout thought for a moment, and nodded.

"I believe you misheard," he replied, "it was eight Romulans."

The men laughed, and one pounded Cassandra jovially on the back. A scantly clad woman came over with six large tin mugs of Blood Wine.

They crowded around a table, and Kathryn watched in awe as Cassandra spoke to K'Vout as if they were old friends. Something was different about her in this place. Cassandra navigated tense conversation like a seasoned Ambassador, and her silver tongue even saved Kathryn's hide.

K'Vout turned to Kathryn, "Tell me your name Bajoran."

"I'm Jiasha."

"You have not touched your blood wine," K'Vout observed, "you dishonour us by not sharing in our revelry."

"Then I propose a toast," Cassandra said, tapping her cup on the table, "to K'Vout, may you die, taking your enemies with you."

He laughed, and everybody drank, including Kathryn. She followed Cassandra's example, taking large gulps. The alcohol burned a train into her stomach, and the stuff made whiskey look like apple juice. Eventually one of the other Klingons got a bit too bold and impaired.

"I smell your sweet blood Bajoran," he said to Kathryn, sniffing her, "surely you would prefer the touch of a warrior instead of this PtaQ."

He went to lower his teeth to Kathryn's cheek, but Cassandra's reflexes were faster. She brought her mug up and slammed it into the Klingon's face. One of the others flipped over a stool and Cassandra doubled over in pain as it connected with her side. She was hurt, and Kathryn was concerned for their safety.

"Is there a problem," said a voice from behind her, she turned, eye to eye with none other than Thadial Bokar himself.

Kathryn went to Cassandra, but the young woman pushed her away.

"I'm fine," she said.

"These are my guests," Thadial said to the Klingons, "I'd appreciate it if you let them be."

"The PtaQ will drown in her won blood, or is she too afraid to face a challenge?"

"I'm not afraid," Cassandra said, ignoring the immense pain from her ribcage, "but I have important matters to discuss. Excuse us."

Thadial lead them to his booth, and motioned for them to sit.

"You certainly know how to make an entrance," Bokar remarked. He was a Farian, and had the standard nose ridge. He was also an old friend of Cassandra's mother.

"Sorry for the trouble," Cassandra answered, winching slightly.

"You look more and more like Evie everyday you know that?"

"Thadial was a regular at my mother's establishment," Cassandra explained to Kathryn, "what was it she always used to say?"

"Check your weapon at the counter and get your latinum out."

"I remember."

Thadial sighed, "She was a good woman, the best of us old timers. I'm sure Evie would be proud of your accomplishments."

"No she wouldn't," argued Cassandra, "she didn't want me in this world, and I'm ready to get out."

"I was hoping you were joking in your message, but I'll relieve of you of your holdings and operations."

"What about the weapon," Kathryn spoke up.

"Something has gone missing," explained Cassandra, "a tricobalt warhead. If you know who has it I'm willing to pay a handsome sum to retrieve it."

He shook his head, "Nothing has come to my ears. Your usual suite is ready. Get some rest, I'll ask around about your warhead."

"Where should we meet in the morning," Cassandra asked.

Thadial thought for a moment, "My home. It's safe. I've also taken the liberty to have guards outside your suite, sleep easy."

Cassandra nodded, and stood to leave. They exited the nightclub and headed up the dark street. The pain from her ribcage made her slow, and eventually Kathryn stopped her.

"You're injured, take a rest," she ordered, and Cassandra could only nod as they sat on a bench.

Kathryn sat next to her, deep in thought.

"You were right," Kathryn admitted.

Cassandra looked up at her, "About?"

"I shouldn't have come with you," she whispered, "I was completely out of my element, but you seemed unsurprised."

The young woman stood, "The hotel is just a block up. I can make it."

They were lead to the room by a talkative Bolian, who seemed to know Cassandra, but she just focused on getting to the room. When they entered the room Kathryn looked about. It was easily three times the size of her quarters, a main sitting area flanked by a bedroom and a bathroom.

"There's a natural hot spring that runs under the hotel," Cassandra said, staggering towards a couch, "and they pipe it into the bathroom."

Kathryn helped Cassandra sit, and immediately went lift the wounded woman's shirt. There were dark purple bruises all along Cassandra's left side.

"This is going to hurt, but I need to know if you've broken a rib," Kathryn warned, before gently caressing the bruised area. At least one rib was broken, and several more severely bruised.

"How bad is it," Cassandra asked.

"You need a doctor," replied Kathryn, "and I'm not one. Is there a hospital nearby?"

Cassandra started to laugh, but groaned in pain instead.

"We're safer here."

Kathryn stood, "There's a medkit on your ship. I'm going to go get it."

Cassandra grabbed Kathryn's hand, "No. You're not going alone and I'm not leaving this room. I'll have a bath, a nice soak might help."

"Fine," Kathryn relented, "but at least let me help you."

Cassandra nodded, and made her way to the bathroom, Kathryn followed. The tub was massive, and more like a hot tub than anything. She turned the knob, and a stream of hot water began to fill the tub. Steam filled the room, and Kathryn heard another groan of pain. She saw Cassandra struggling to get undressed, as raising her arms above a certain point caused a great deal of pain. Kathryn went over to help her, but the woman shook her head.

"I can do this."

"Don't be difficult," Kathryn argued, "this is no time for modesty."

Her delicate fingers found the hem of Cassandra's shirt, and she gently pulled it over her head. When her hands brushed Cassandra's bear breasts she felt a heat rise to her cheeks, but years of Starfleet training helped her maintain composure. But it was difficult. She had to help Cassandra into the water, and when she sat the water came halfway up her neck. Cassandra was glad for the steam, it gave an excuse for the blush on her cheeks.

"I'm going to find something to hold your broken rib in place," said Kathryn exiting the bathroom.

When she exited Cassandra let out a sigh, and rubbed her face. Being around Kathryn confused her, especially the touch of Kathryn's hand on her skin. Her heart rate increased, goosebumps covered her skin, and she could barely breath.

In the next room Kathryn was sitting on the couch, ripping up one of the sheets. With shreds of fabric in her hands she hung her head, equally confused about her reaction to Cassandra's body. It brought back a heat she had not felt since …well, for a long while. She collected her thoughts, reminding herself that they had a mission at hand. Kathryn had a strange sense of déjà vu in this situation. There was always another mission, another risky situation, never pause for the lighter side of life.

Kathryn walked back into the bathroom, to see Cassandra struggling to get out of the tub. She went over to the young woman and helped her out. Cassandra wrapped a towel around herself and went to the couch.

"I'm going to try and tie some of this around you, to prevent the broken rib from moving around too much," Kathryn offered.

Cassandra shook her head, "I can do this myself you know."

"No, you can't," argued Kathryn, "I promise I'll do my best."

With a sigh Cassandra relented, and lowered her towel to her hips. Kathryn took a length of fabric and wrapped it around Cassandra's chest, just under her breasts. Her expert hands tied it off, and what neither of them could acknowledge someone noticed immediately.

He was watching them from across the courtyard, through the window. His Starfleet uniform discarded for more inconspicuous clothing. From far away he recognized the affection in their eyes, the dedication to one another. That was why he stole the warhead. There was something important he had to destroy.

"You should rest," Kathryn told Cassandra, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Cassandra nodded, "You take the bed, and I'll sleep on the couch."

"You're injured," said Kathryn, leading the woman to the queen sized bed, "besides, it's large enough for the both of us."

The former crewman did not argue further, instead she allowed Kathryn to help her into nightclothes provided by the hotel. She laid the young woman down, making sure she was comfortable.

"I'm going to have a quick bath," announced Kathryn, but the exhausted Cassandra was already drifting to sleep.

The silence gave Kathryn a chance to think. She wondered if Cassandra had any feelings for her, if maybe the future presented to her by her counterpart could be possible. As usual the warm waters of a bath helped to relax her. She took her time, enjoying the rare luxury. When she approached the bed Cassandra was fast asleep, and Kathryn was glad the woman had some respite from her pain. The tableau of a silent sleeping woman brought to mind her dream from months back.

"Cassandra," she whispered, and the young woman did not even stir.

She kneeled next Cassandra's sleeping form, and as the young woman was wrapped in sleep Kathryn gently kissed her lips.


	6. Chapter 6

"You've got quite the mystery on your hands," Bokar said, as he sipped at his tea. Cassandra and Kathryn – still a dark-haired Bajoran – were at his home, the sun high in the sky.

"What do you mean," Cassandra asked.

He sighed, "If your warhead is here nobody has seen it, scanned it, or met someone looking to sell one. I'm sorry, but it seems it's not here."

Kathryn thought for a moment, and scratched her nose ridges.

"But then the Admiral here may have scared whoever has it away."

They looked at each other and back to Bokar.

"How did you know?"

"It's my job to know," he replied, "but I haven't told anybody, you're secret's safe. Also, I've transferred six million Federation Credits to your personal account Cassie. There's just one more thing."

Cassandra looked at him, "I know, my logs."

She removed her shoe, and tapped the sole, revealing a small drawer. Inside was an isolinear chip, Cassandra removed it and handed it to Bokar.

"You know it's the only copy," she told him.

"I know," he motioned to one of the people standing by his house, and a man approached them carrying a thin object wrapped in cloth. Thadial accepted it as it was handed to him and unwrapped a sheathed dagger. Cassandra looked sad.

She spoke slowly, "You're an honourable man. It's been a pleasure working with you."

He took the dagger, handed it to Cassandra, and stood.

"We should get going," Cassandra said to Kathryn, and they went back to the Jasmine in orbit.

Two hours later Cassandra slammed her hands on the console in frustration.

"It has to be on the planet," she said, "nothing else makes sense."

Kathryn stopped punching in commands and looked up, "Try thinking like a thief. If you stole something and knew people were looking for you, where would you hide it?"

"On my ship," Cassandra started to laugh, but stopped cold. She grabbed a tricorder and headed to the Cargo Hold. Staring her in the eye was the warhead, and according to her readings it was armed.

She swore, "Kathryn down here."

They stood in silence for a moment.

"You know, this seems too convenient," Cassandra said aloud, "I mean, this is my trick. This is my signature move."

"It's remotely armed," Kathryn announced, she turned to Cassandra, "I can try to disarm it, but if I'm not careful …"

"I know."

Kathryn punched her command codes into the warhead, to find out the command protocols had been rewritten. She looked at the warhead, and then to Cassandra.

"The sun's corona should be able to absorb the blast," Kathryn explained, "if we put the ship on auto pilot we'll be okay."

"Agreed," Cassandra took the Helm, and her face sank.

"What's wrong?"

Kathryn approached from behind, and stood next to Cassandra.

"Auto pilot systems have been damaged beyond repair," she explained, "I'll have to fly into the corona manually. Standby, I'll transport you to the surface."

"No you won't," Kathryn put a hand on Cassandra's shoulder, "I'm not going to let you do this. I'm the Starfleet Officer, it's my duty."

The young woman shook her head, "The hell with your duty. Don't ask me to let you die."

"You're asking me to do the same thing," replied Kathryn, "and we're wasting time arguing."

Cassandra tapped the console in front of her.

"It'll only accept my commands," she went to the transporter controls, "I'm sorry Kathryn."

"Wait," the Admiral stayed Cassandra's hand, "maybe we can disarm it."

"It won't take your codes."

Kathryn nodded, "Tell me, all those years in computer maintenance, you must have learned to bypass a few things. I can't do this without you."

They got to work. Kathryn removed the outer casing, to reveal a complicated mass of circuits and wires. Cassandra started familiarizing herself with the components as Kathryn removed further casing pieces.

"This is pretty advanced stuff," Cassandra noted, pushing a few buttons and opening a circuit panel. She started sequencing an override.

"If this doesn't work they won't find anything left of us," a nervous bead of sweat lingered on Cassandra's brow.

Kathryn exposed the explosive, "Anything you want to get off your chest?"

"Yes," Cassandra pulled a chip and put it in a different slot, "I lied to you."

"I know," Kathryn looked at the wires in front of her, "and about your business…"

"That's not it," she replaced another chip, "when you asked me if you were home when I was in your apartment, I said I wasn't. That was a lie. You came home and I hid, until you went to sleep."

Kathryn's lips formed a thoughtful frown, "I see."

"I'm sorry."

She sighed, and using a resequencer to try and format the isolinear processor. Kathryn knew the kiss was no dream, and was a bit ashamed of what Cassandra had seen. But, she had a secret too. Admiral Kathryn Janeway was irreparably, irrevocably, and completely in love with Cassandra. She looked up, watching Cassandra's face deep in concentration.

Even with her frazzled, and clothes wrinkled she was beautiful.

Kathryn moved closer to Cassandra, and placed a hand delicately on her shoulder.

"I'm not angry," she said, "I'm not sure what I feel, but it's not negative by any means."

Cassandra smiled, and turned her focus back to the bomb in front of her. Kathryn didn't remove her hand.

"What do we need to do," she asked Cassandra.

"Well, the explosive is useless with out a remote command to detonate, but it has heavily encrypted back-up files. I disable one only to have two more take it's place."

Cassandra had a peculiar look on her face.

"What is it," Kathryn asked.

"If I didn't know better I'd say I wrote this program," she explained, "I've written programs just like this one, but for different reasons. Whoever did this has access to me, and my methods. And I don't often share secrets."

"It would make sense," Kathryn paused, "but who? Someone from a bad business deal?"

Cassandra shook her head, "No. This is much more, intimate knowledge."

Kathryn looked down, "An ex-lover maybe?"

"Absolutely not," Cassandra replied, "I don't give away my secrets. It's why I've been successful."

She replaced another chip, and paused before inserting it into the circuit board again.

"Left or right," she asked Kathryn, who looked at the circuit board.

Kathryn looked confused, "Right."

"Are you sure?"

"No."

Cassandra scanned the circuitry, and rubbed her temple.

"Either I override the remote detonator or I blow us to hell," Cassandra told her.

"We have to get away from the planet," remarked Kathryn, "or else the blast might damage the planet. Are you sure you don't want to beam yourself down there?"

"Not a chance," Cassandra said as she took the helm.

A smile found it's way to Kathryn's lips, and faded as she looked at the sensors.

"There are subspace distortions, a hundred metres to port," she announced, scanning further, "it's a cloaked ship."

"What should we do," asked Cassandra, hesitating.

Kathryn grimaced, "I think we should see if we're followed. Proceed with your course."

"Aye Captain," answered Cassandra, inputting their course. She had to focus and keep an eye on the ship. It followed them.

"They're hailing, audio only," Kathryn announced, and she patched them through.

"Stop your course or I'll detonate the warhead," said the voice, but it was scratchy and hard to identify.

"I don't respond well to threats," Kathryn said back, "but surely you have demands, maybe we could end this, without bloodshed."

"Always a diplomat," the voice sneered, "but not this time. I'll disarm the warhead and turn myself in, but only after Admiral Janeway is dead."

Kathryn stood, "I'm more than willing to give up my life."

The voice agreed, "Yes, but will Cassandra let you?"

"It's my choice," Kathryn told him.

"Five minutes," and the link was terminated.

Cassandra turned to Kathryn, "There's one more chip to go. I can disarm it."

"And if you make a mistake everybody dies," said Kathryn.

"I won't make a mistake," argued Cassandra, "please, don't ask me to sentence you to death."

She looked away as Kathryn got closer to her, and ignored the hand on her shoulder.

"It is my choice, and how can you ask me to let you die?"

Cassandra put her hand on Kathryn's, "My life is nothing without you in it."

Kathryn sighed, "Until this moment I never understood how hard it is to lose something I never had."

She put her other hand in Cassandra's and met her gaze.

"I have a plan," said Cassandra, "if we dampen the signal to activate the warhead then we can dump it into the sun's corona, riding the shockwave out of the brunt of the explosion."

"There's a lot of variables."

Cassandra nodded, "Yes, but you've dealt with worse odds."

"That was the Delta Quadrant."

"It'll work," said Cassandra, squeezing Kathryn's hand in hers.

"And if it doesn't," replied Kathryn, "I'm glad I'm here."

She turned around to the Helm, and they initiated the dampening field.

"We're being hailed again," said Kathryn.

"Answer it."

"Cease you're attempts to disable the warhead," said the voice, "or you force me to detonate."

She engaged the engines, setting course for the sun. Cassandra's hands piloted the vessel while Kathryn tried to block his attempt to activate the warhead.

"Dumping cargo," Cassandra announced, and turned the ship to ride the wave, "hold on."

The ship shook violently, and several consoles overloaded. Cassandra was thrown from her seat, and cried out as her side hit the ground. Struggling to her knees she attempted to pilot the ship, while Kathryn rerouted all available power to hull integrity. Eventually the shaking stopped, and the wave dissipated. Both women let out a sigh of relief. Kathryn had some minor burns on her left arm, and Cassandra held her hand to her ribcage.

"Kathryn," Cassandra said, slumping in her chair.

"I'm alright," she replied, "but all major systems are down. I'm sending out a distress call, all frequencies. The other ship is closing. Do you have weapons?"

Cassandra handed her a Starfleet-issue hand phaser.

"I don't want to know where you got these," Kathryn took it and set it to stun.

Just as Kathryn predicted they were beamed to the other vessel, but when she materialized and went for the phaser it was gone. A young man stepped out of the shadows, and into the dimly lit shuttle. He looked very familiar to Kathryn.

Cassandra let out a gasp, "Terry? It was you?"

The young Science Officer wore a look of frustration.

"Crewman Terry Gates," Kathryn recalled, "you served on Voyager."

"Yes I did," he said flippantly, "seven long years in the Delta Quadrant. I left behind a girlfriend I was going to marry. She gave me up for dead after two years, and eventually remarried."

Kathryn looked sympathetic, "I understand what you're going through, I also left behind someone I was going to marry."

"I know," Terry paced in anger, "but I found someone out there. Cassie, I loved you."

She looked up at him, confused, and when she walked towards him she was stopped by a forcefield.

"You've always been a good friend-" Cassandra began, but Terry cut her off.

"A friend and nothing more," he looked sad, "and now will never be. I didn't put it all together until the night of the reunion. I saw the way the future Janeway looked at you when we were in the Mess Hall, and I recognised that look. She loved you. Which meant _she could love you_."

He pointed an accusing finger to Kathryn.

"If you let us go we can clear this matter up," Kathryn said, trying to sound unafraid.

"No," Terry shook his head, "no more Starfleet diplomacy. I was there, I saw everything. I even see it now, Admiral. They way you look at her, like at the Reunion."

Kathryn bowed her head.

"And you don't even deny it," he seemed to be having a fit, "it's not fair. You've taken everything from me. Did you ask me if I wanted to be stranded seventy thousand light years from home?"

"I'm sorry for your loss," Kathryn's voice shook, "and there's time where I regret the decision made."

He pulled a phaser and pointed it at Kathryn, "I thought I wanted you to die, but now I realize I want you to suffer."

Terry lowered the forcefield, and pointed the phaser away from Kathryn and towards Cassandra instead. Her mind didn't make the decision, it was pure reflex. She dove towards Terry, as he fired the gun. The blast grazed her arm, and she knocked him to the ground. They hit the floor, the phaser dropping. She scrambled to pick it up, and stood, the phaser pointed at Terry.

"You're not going to shoot me," he taunted, feigning a lunge, "not the incorruptible Kathryn Janeway."

Kathryn fingers tensed on the trigger, "You're right, I won't kill you. I'm not a murderer."

"That's a matter of opinion."

Cassandra finally spoke, "There was a time where I might have agreed with you Terry. But in order to hate so deeply you must have loved just as deep; and once you embraced the world you want to burn."

Terry denied, "No, you're wrong, Cassie. My hate is a thousand times deeper than my love was. Besides, do you think you and she will live happily ever after? Or is she using you, manipulating you, as she's done to so many."

Kathryn saw a brief flicker of hesitation on Cassandra's face.

"Starfleet principles," he continued, "what have they gotten us? You and I lost those closest to us. My fiancée, and your mother."

The façade of strength Cassandra had crumbled, and her insides felt like they were hollowed out by a knife. She looked at Kathryn, trying to read the emotions in her eyes. In a single second she had a hundred thoughts, but one thing she was sure of, her pain. Cassandra pictured her mother, long black hair like hers, and bright green eyes.

"You're right, I did lose my mother," she whispered, "but if I forget what she taught me then her life was meaningless. She wanted me to pursue joy and find happiness."

"How could you say that," Terry stepped closer to Cassandra, "after they tortured her to death?"

Her left hand snapped up and slapped him across the face, he reeled from the blow.

"Don't you ever talk about my mother again."

She put the forcefield back up, and went to the helm.

"We should set course for Earth," said Cassandra, "and take him back to the authorities."

Kathryn put a hand on Cassandra's arm but the young woman shook it off.

"Are you alright," asked Kathryn.

Cassandra turned away from Kathryn, "Let's just get back to Earth. We'll have to tractor this shuttle and take the Jasmine. I need to repair the warp drive though."

"That won't be necessary," replied Kathryn, looking at the sensor readout, "there's a ship on an intercept course, it's Starfleet. Wait, it's Voyager."

They were beamed aboard, greeted by Captain Chakotay and his First Officer, Tuvok.

"We were in the neighbourhood," Chakotay said, "and I heard your call."

Kathryn smiled softly, "Did you follow me?"

"We heard of the situation from Admiral Paris," answered Tuvok, "and, after getting clearance from the New Sydney authorities, set a course."

Two Security Guards lead Terry out of the room, and to the Brig.

Cassandra seemed distant to Kathryn, having not said a word.

"I'm going to report to Sickbay," she said finally, "my side is killing me."

Kathryn nodded, "I have to agree with you, and I think my arm could use a dermal regenerator."

Chakotay walked with them to Sickbay as Kathryn filled him in as to what happened, and Cassandra noted she skipped the parts about their time alone. He told Kathryn he thought the nose ridges made her look more distinguished and joked that she should keep them. For a moment Kathryn expected to see the EMH when the Sickbay doors opened, and had to remind herself he was posted at Starfleet Medical.

The new doctor was a thin man, with a shock of red hair on his head, his medic a female Vulcan. Cassandra was treated first, her injuries more severe, and while he and Kathryn were alone Chakotay spoke.

"How are you holding up," he asked her.

She rubbed her temple, "I don't know. This mission, Cassandra, everything, I need to make sense of a lot of things."

"I'm here if you need me," he told her, "and I have a bit of good news to share."

Kathryn turned to him "What is it?"

"Seven has accepted my proposal," he smiled.

She congratulated him, and then the Doctor was ready for her. Cassandra was on a biobed, fast asleep.

"I gave her a sedative to help her sleep," he explained, taking out his tricorder and scanning her wound, "nothing serious, dermal regenerator."

The familiar tingling sensation of the device crept up her arm, and he also removed the ridges on her nose.

"Your arm will be tender for a few days, try not to exert yourself."

"Thank-you Doctor," she replied, standing up.

He retreated into his office, and Kathryn went over to Cassandra's sleeping form and looked down at her. The urge to kiss her lips never came, she had no right to that woman's lips, or her heart for that matter. She tried to focus on the distant panel, but tears clouded her vision. Kathryn turned to leave, when she felt her hand grabbed. She looked at the bed, and Cassandra opened her eyes.

"Kathryn," Cassandra whispered, and she turned back towards her.

She smiled softly, "I'm here."

"I need to tell you something," she sat up on the biobed, "but I'm not sure how to."

Their legs touched as Kathryn sat next to her, not letting go of her hand. For a moment they stayed silent, the silence speaking volumes for them. Neither could bring themselves to speak the words which were so obvious. Kathryn's thumb stroked Cassandra's hand, and finally she spoke.

"Cassandra," Kathryn whispered, "I'm not a perfect woman, I have my flaws."

"Me too," replied Cassandra.

"And we come from very different worlds," continued Kathryn.

Cassandra inhaled sharply, "Too different?"

Kathryn's nervous hand tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I don't know," she told Cassandra.

The young woman let go of Kathryn's hand, and stood, wrapping her arms protectively around her. Kathryn looked away.

"Maybe you're right," the words working their way past the knot in Cassandra's throat.

Kathryn stood to leave, "We'll be back on Earth in two days. Chakotay has prepared quarters for you."

"Okay," Cassandra refused to face Kathryn, lest she see the tears in her eyes.

The Sickbay doors closed behind Kathryn, and Cassandra's strength crumbled. She let the tears free. The light was gone, along with all hope.

Kathryn walked along the corridor, a strange sense of melancholy taking over. How many times had she walked this hallway? But this was no longer her ship, and when she saw strange faces, realized it was no longer her crew. She was no longer Captain, and had a hard time letting go.

Chakotay approached her from behind and broke her reverie.

"Kathryn," he greeted, "care to join me for dinner?"

She agreed, and went to her former quarters. When the doors opened to revealed her quarters it was like the final nail in the coffin. These were Chakotay's quarters now. Kathryn entered the room, as memories flooded upon her. Mostly she remembered being alone. When she was a Captain she said it was protocol, but now what stopped her was fear.

"You haven't said much," Chakotay remarked, pouring another cup of coffee, "something on your mind."

"Is it that obvious," she sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She took a sip of her favourite brew, only to have it taste bitter and metallic.

"Seven years I drank this coffee," she said thoughtfully, "and now it doesn't taste good. More than anyone I was responsible for getting our crew home, but now that we are it's not the same. I feel like I've lost my family. And that I'm no longer needed."

"You taught them to stand on their own two feet," he said, "and even though were no longer under one roof doesn't make us less of a family."

"A family I don't deserve to be a part of."

Chakotay frowned, "You got them home, safe."

"It was my selfishness that stranded them in the first place," Kathryn bowed her head, "and it drove a promising young officer to almost commit murder."

"Terry made his own choices," argued Chakotay, "we suffered losses. All of us. Including you, Kathryn. But you turned your pain into determination."

She felt the tears on her eyes, and blinked them away. He always knew what to say, to chase away her demons.

"Thank-you, Chakotay," she whispered, "for more than you know."

He took her hand in his, "I once promised to make your burden lighter. Tell me what's really bothering you."

"What can you tell me about Cassandra Wilkes?"

"She was a member of my crew," he said, "I met her on Kessik IV, when we were getting supplies. She had been instrumental in getting crucial components. Cassandra was also using Maraji Crystal at the time. Her pain was so deep I could almost touch it. She asked for a place on my ship, needed to lie low for a little while."

"Then you were pulled into the Delta Quadrant," Kathryn said.

"Yes, but she gave up her vice the moment she came onboard, and I could not have asked for a better crewman."

"When we were about to die on that ship," Kathryn traced the rim of her coffee cup, "we exchanged some very revealing thoughts, and I can't help but wonder, if she really meant it."

"Sometimes, in the moments before death, we're more honest then we are in life. If Cassandra said something I think you should take it as truth, and listen to your heart."

Kathryn looked up at him, "You're right."

She stood to leave, and turned before leaving, "Wish me luck."

Cassandra sighed as the door chime went off, but she opened the door all the same, and let Kathryn in.

"First, I want to apologise," Kathryn said, standing close to Cassandra, "for not being honest with you."

"I don't want an apology," replied Cassandra, a bit harsher than intended.

Kathryn took a deep breath, "Sometimes I can be so blind."

The young woman let Kathryn touch her hair, and their eyes met.

"Just answer the question, once and for all, do you love me," Cassandra asked.

Kathryn put her arms around Cassandra, "Yes I do."

"Then what are you waiting for," said Cassandra.

"Can you love me back," asked Kathryn, and unaccustomed vulnerability in her voice.

Cassandra put her hand on Kathryn's cheek, "Of course. I can't do anything but love you."


	7. Chapter 7

A shiver crept up Kathryn's back, and she groped for more blankets. Cassandra had an iron clad grip on the covers, not letting Kathryn get any slack. She placed a kiss underneath Cassandra's ear, rousing her gently.

"Darling," she whispered, "I'm freezing."

Cassandra groaned in her sleep, and rolled over, taking what little section of blanket Kathryn had with her. She smiled softly, and started kissing her lover's neck.

"I'm tired," growled Cassandra, sinking deeper into the cocoon of blanket.

Delicate hands wrapped around her front and she let out a yip as Kathryn's fingers found her breasts.

Lips found their way next to her ear, "Share the blankets, or else don't sleep."

Cassandra turned to face Kathryn, her naked lover, and scowled. All the same, her lips found Kathryn's, and delighted in a long kiss. She unwrapped her own nude body from the blanket and draped it over the both of them. Her body pressed against her love's, lips parting slightly, Kathryn seized the opportunity to let her tongue flick against Cassandra's.

"I'm not sleepy anymore," said Cassandra, her lips trailing from Kathryn's lips to her collarbone.

Kathryn's back arched, and her hands twisted the sheets.. Her throaty moan filled the room as Cassandra's lips found their way between her legs. She kicked off the blanket and pulled Cassandra closer, enjoying the heat of her body against her own. Kathryn let Cassandra envelop her in a squeeze, and rested her face in the niche of her lover's neck. Cassandra felt a strange wetness on her neck, and – looking down at Kathryn – saw twin tears streaking down her face.

"I'm sorry," Cassandra blurted, thinking she'd done something wrong.

Kathryn smiled, but the tears still came.

"What's wrong?"

Kathryn took a gulp of air, "It's silly, but part of me misses this ship."

A melancholy filled Cassandra and she tightened her grip on Kathryn.

"I'm never letting you go," she told her.

Puffy blue eyes welled up with fresh tears.

"Oh, Cass," Kathryn laced her fingers with Cassandra's, "that means a lot to me."

Cassandra kissed the tip of Kathryn's nose, "Just promise me one thing.."

"Anything."

"No disappearing to the Delta Quadrant," she said, "and no temporal anomalies, hostile nebulas, telepathic aliens-"

Kathryn chuckled, "I think I get the point. But you must have found it slightly exciting."

"No," replied Cassandra, "every time I was told we were changing course to investigate Phenomenon A or Alien Ship B I got my repair kit ready. And not once did I put it away unused."

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

"It's okay," she shrugged, "besides, I always gave myself a few extra replicator rations."

"Don't tell me that," said Kathryn with a sigh, "what you managed to get away with is between you and Voyager."

"It's strange, being back onboard."

"I know," responded Kathryn as she sat up slowly, "it was home for so long."

Cassandra sat up in the bed, and pulled her knees to her chest.

"What happens when we get back to Earth?"

Kathryn frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're a Starfleet Admiral, I'm well…not."

"Let me tell you something," Kathryn moved so she was face to face with Cassandra, "my father was an Admiral, and my mother was a civilian. He would come home and be with his family, leaving Starfleet in San Francisco . I love what I do, and would give my all to it, but I want something to ground me."

"I'm not very domestic," Cassandra said as she straddled her legs around Kathryn's hips, "and I can't cook."

Kathryn shrugged, "Neither can I."

"We'll starve," joked Cassandra.

"No," Kathryn pulled her lover closer, "because I will eat and drink of my love and be filled."

"You know how to make a woman blush."

Cassandra felt Kathryn's fingers sliding down her stomach, "I hope I can do more than make you blush."

Chakotay smiled to himself as the computer told him Kathryn was still in Cassandra's temporary quarters. He thought back to years gone by, and how once he had had feelings for Kathryn. Things had changed. Though of two things he was certain, Kathryn would know a deep love, and his better half wasn't his former Captain. Had things been different it would have only been heartache for the both of them. He was a Captain and she an Admiral, they would never have time together. Besides, he couldn't have asked for a better friend. He let her be in bliss, because of all the people he knew, she deserved it most.

Cassandra tightened the strings on her pants and staggered over to the replicator.

"Two coffee, black," the mugs hot in her hand she went over to Kathryn on the couch.

Kathryn accepted the cup, "What time is it?"

"Fourteen hundred hours," answered Cassandra, taking a long sip.

"We slept the day away."

The younger woman gave Kathryn a look, "In what part of what we did was there sleep involved?"

"Well if you hadn't hogged all the covers I would have let you sleep."

Cassandra shook her head, "Nice recovery."

She chuckled as Kathryn's stomach rumbled.

"Hungry?"

"I guess I am," Kathryn looked about the room, clothes strewn about, a chair knocked over, "maybe we should go to the Mess Hall."

"Agreed."

Tuvok's brown eyes noticed the Admiral as she strolled into the Mess Hall, in uniform, next to former-Crewman Wilkes. While Kathryn looked Starfleet spiffy her companion was remarkably less so. Cassandra wore a flowing white shirt with a beaded neckline and black slacks. Her long hair was unfettered, framing her face. Anyone watching her would describe her in a different way; _languid, serene, happy_.

"Mind if I join you," Kathryn asked Tuvok, as Cassandra wandered over to talk with some other crewman.

"Certainly."

Even though they were in different parts of room their eyes met, if only for a moment, but the love was there. Time passed, Tuvok and Kathryn discussed many things, and Cassandra flitted about, conversing with several different people. Chakotay entered the Mess Hall. He made his way to Kathryn and Tuvok, and as he joined them Cassandra came over to them.

"Room for a fourth," she asked, and Chakotay motioned for her to join them.

Kathryn spoke first, "I was telling Tuvok about our encounter on New Sydney."

A soft smile graced Cassandra's lips, "That's certainly one for the books."

"There's just one thing I don't understand," voiced Chakotay, "why go through all that trouble?"

"That is simple, Captain," Tuvok replied, "in order to get the Admiral and Miss Wilkes alone he had to be outside Federation space, and Miss Wilkes was headed to New Sydney."

"I'm still surprised," said Cassandra, "he was my best friend."

Chakotay stood, "We'll be in Earth's orbit in another nine hours. Starfleet is going to want to debrief all of us."

Cassandra sighed, "I hate debriefings."

They beamed directly to Headquarters, and went into the main Briefing Room. Admiral Owen Paris was waiting, along with four armed Security Officers. Owen looked stern as they entered the room.

"Admiral, Captain, Miss Wilkes," he greeted.

Kathryn looked around the room, "I didn't think there was any cause for Security."

"They're here to take Miss Wilkes into custody," he announced, "pending formal charges of drug trafficking, arms dealing, and violation of Federation shipping laws."

Two of them approached Cassandra and grabbed her by the arm.

"What is the meaning of this," demanded Cassandra.

He met her icy glare, "While you were gone new evidence was received regarding your business ventures. We found cases of Maraji Crystal in a warehouse belonging to you, illegal armaments as well."

Admiral Janeway finally spoke, "I believe you had an arrangement with Miss Wilkes, the warhead was destroyed, at great personal risk to herself. As per your agreement all charges were to be dropped and all investigations ceased."

"They were," he replied, "but new evidence was presented, evidence we couldn't ignore. I'm sorry, but Cassandra Wilkes has been deemed a threat to Federation Security."

"Will there be a trial," Chakotay asked, looking concerned.

"Of course," Owen answered, "a panel of Admirals will decide her fate. I'll also file a request for leniency, based on her recent service. Please, escort her to the holding cell."

The guards tightened their grip and started for the door.

"I could have run," Cassandra told them, "and not come back from New Sydney. But I did. Rest assured, I will not go quietly into the night. I have something to fight for."

She looked to Kathryn, who nodded slightly. A silent promise she would not be abandoned.

Kathryn immediately downloaded the evidence on Cassandra and took it to her office for review. It turns out unusual power spikes were coming from the EPS grid in a storage facility, and in order to fix the problem they had to get in. Commander Violet "Vi" Fournier had ordered the entry as the spikes were interrupting normal power flow. Reasonable enough, but something didn't feel right.

She needed to know if Vi knew Cassandra, and decided to beam over to Tokyo. Ami greeted her at the door, and looked very perturbed when she heard of Cassandra's arrest.

"She's a good person," Ami told Kathryn.

"I know."

Ami shook her head, "No. She's a very good person. Cassandra saved me, and a lot of other girls."

"What do you mean?"

"I used to be a Net-girl," she explained, "along with all of the other girls at the restaurant. She bought out our contracts and sponsored us for Federation citizenship, giving us jobs. If not for her I would have to link at with at least four buyers a day. I was a Net-girl not because I wanted to be, but because I had no choice."

"I had no idea," Kathryn whispered.

Ami took one of Kathryn's hands, "She saved my life, if there's anything I can do to help, please tell me."

"Did she keep any logs, any sort of communication records?"

Ami nodded, "Not on her computer, but on a chip somewhere. I will check her office, why don't you check her room?"

Kathryn agreed and went to Cassandra's room. She had an old-style Japanese wooden bed only a foot above the ground, and bookshelves peppered the room. The dresser was her first stop. She sifted through her clothes, taking note of several lacy underwear. In the jewellery box she found an assortment of various precious stones. But something in particular caught her eye. Tucked in a pocket was an isolinear chip with a gold ring. Curious, Kathryn put the ring on her finger, it fit perfectly. She recognized it as the ring her counterpart had been wearing. Cassandra had known they had been together in an alternate timeline. It made her pause. She took the chip and put it to her lips.

"I will fight for you."

Ami entered the room, a data card in her hand. Kathryn took it, and put back the isolinear chip and ring. With Tuvok's help she decrypted the data and found detailed communication logs and personal logs as well. Tuvok took a copy of the communications and Kathryn went to visit Cassandra.

"Kathryn," Cassandra gasped, "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright," she replied, "I know you wanted to leave that life behind. I think I might have an out for you, but you have to be honest with me."

"Of course."

"Did you have a contact within Starfleet Command?"

"Yes," answered Cassandra, "I did."

Kathryn paced, "Was it Commander Fournier?"

Cassandra nodded.

"She may have felt threatened when she learned about you giving up your business, thought you might turn her in," theorized Kathryn, "and she faked a power surge. But she got approval to enter the warehouse."

Cassandra met Kathryn's gaze, "Someone higher than just a Commander is on her side. But I was never privy to who it is."

A nervous hand fiddled with her combadge, "I can't believe an Admiral would do this."

"Who else?"

A sigh from Kathryn, "Any ideas?"

"No," she answered, "but look for someone who has connections. Maybe someone with a taste for the night life."

"That's a long list."

Cassandra thought for a moment, "How many Admirals will be at my hearing?"

"Four."

Kathryn caught the idea, and said, "That's not a long list."

"You should know something," Cassandra approached the forcefield, "you have to work with these people. And I'm a criminal, maybe not anymore, but I am all the same. If you start poking around in their business they may resent you."

"Like a friend of mine once said," Kathryn paused sadly, "you're worth it."

Chakotay and Tuvok met her at her apartment, not wanting to be spied on. She told them what she'd found, and Tuvok concurred.

"I'm afraid Cassandra's suspicions may prove accurate," he said, "and it is logical to assume the Admiral in question would want to be in a position of power within the hearing."

"This is unacceptable," voiced Kathryn.

Chakotay spoke, "This could be very detrimental to Starfleet and even the Federation."

"What do you mean?"

He stood and paced for a moment, "If you expose this Admiral as a crook, along with other high ranking members of Starfleet it puts the Federation in a bad light. Every treaty negotiated or accord signed will be called into question. Did they have personal gain motives?"

"Captain Chakotay is correct," Tuvok said, "if Miss Wilkes is tried and sentenced than one person suffers, but if the Starfleet Officers are to be exposed than many will suffer."

"The needs of many before the needs of one," Kathryn quoted Ambassador Spock, "but this is more than that. This corruption cannot be allowed to continue."

She heard Chakotay sigh, and almost let a stinging remark out of her mouth, but she held back. It was unfair; finding a bit of joy only to have it taken away, again. Also, this was not the Starfleet she had grown up admiring, and part of her was deeply disappointed.

"We fight this," she informed them, "as hard as we've fought anything. I didn't adhere to Starfleet Principles for seven years in the damned Quadrant only to come back to this one and see everything thrown out the window."

"The Dominion War changed a lot of people," Chakotay said, "in a way we were lucky."

Kathryn spun on him, "Lucky? No, Chakotay, it was not luck, it was a series of events that have led us to this moment. Now, we have a choice."

The four walls quickly became her home, as her trial date loomed. Cassandra felt anger at the injustice, but part of her accepted her fate. She had committed crimes against the Federation, and her weapons were sold illegally to the Maquis. This was all true. Love, though, her love for Kathryn fuelled her to want more. When Admiral Janeway had approached her she was stunned, even more so when the older woman told her she loved her. At first Cassandra had dismissed her, avoided her, but the evidence was there. A video of a wedding, and the ring she'd been wearing.

"It belongs to your Kathryn," the Admiral had said, in the dark of the Mess Hall.

"She doesn't love me," she replied, "and now we'll never know."

The Admiral reclined in her seat, "Don't give up. She's a stubborn woman but needs to be loved. My wife was the guiding star to get me through the darkness."

She let the Admiral sit next to her, and said nothing when the Admiral pulled her into a warm embrace. It felt right in a way she never could have imagined.

"I should go."

"Wait," Cassandra brushed back a lock of stray hair, and touched the Admiral's cheek. Without pausing to think Cassandra pressed her lips to the other woman's.

She pulled back, as tears formed in Kathryn's aged eyes.

"I don't have the answers to what will happen," she whispered, "but you've opened my eyes to a new possibility."

A hand found rest on her heart, "Then my mission is a success."

In her cell Cassandra relived the memory, savouring it like a good glass of wine. She heard approaching footsteps, and stood as Admiral Galahad approached.

"Ma'am," she greeted, opting for diplomacy instead of antagonism.

"Miss Wilkes," the tall woman nodded to the Security Guard who lowered the forcefield.

Cassandra stayed standing as Galahad approached. She had long black hair shot through with gray bound in a chignon, and piercing brown eyes.

"I was hoping we could speak."

"Regarding?"

The Admiral looked about, as if to make sure they weren't heard.

"A plea bargain," she explained, "if you tell Admiral Janeway to stop all investigations into Starfleet Command I have it on good authority you'll be pardoned."

"Somehow the word of a Starfleet Officer doesn't have a lot of credibility."

The Admiral went towards the exit, "Then this might have more credibility; Admiral Janeway did knowingly and on several occasions violate Federation laws while in the Delta Quadrant. If there is going to be an internal investigation rest assured, it will start with her. And if you think by telling her about this conversation it will help her, you're sorely mistaken."

Before a retort could fly from Cassandra's lips Admiral Galahad left, leaving confusion in her wake.

When Kathryn was in high spirits as she went to see Cassandra her lover was considerably less so. As Kathryn explained the progress she had made in her investigations Cassandra walked over to the wall and leaned against it.

"What's wrong," Kathryn asked.

"I want you to stop all of your investigations," replied Cassandra, "I'm going to plead guilty and throw myself at the mercy of the court."

Kathryn was flabbergasted, and tried several times without fruition to form a sentence.

"What changed," she finally managed.

She found Cassandra's eyes full of guilty knowledge.

"Nothing, I just have had some time to think."

"I'm not buying it."

"Please," Cassandra pleaded, "don't push. This is what's best, for everyone."

"You're hiding something from me," Kathryn grabbed Cassandra, and forced her to meet her gaze.

She continued, "I thought we were past the lies, and I was so proud of you. Ami told me about what you've done for her. But here we are, back at square one. Talk to me, please, I love you."

"This is so unfair," Cassandra traced Kathryn's jaw-line with her finger, "like Romeo and Juliet."

With all the ferocity she could muster Kathryn held fast to her lover's thin wrist, and said, "Things will be different, but I need you to be honest with me."

Putting her lips to Kathryn's ear she whispered, "For your sake, I can't."

Tom and B'Elanna were the last to arrive, and as the former Senior Staff congregated in the actual Sandrine's it felt like they were back in the Delta Quadrant. The holographic representations of the actual people had been very accurate, right down to Sandrine's flirtatious manner.

"Glad you could make it," Kathryn greeted, "I'm sorry to take you away from Miral."

"It's alright," Tom replied, looking around the room, "but I must admit I am a bit confused."

"I'll explain," she promised, "but first and foremost I want to let all of you know the reason I called you here is because right now you're the only ones I can trust. Also, I don't want anyone to risk their careers, and nobody will think less of you if you leave."

Everyone nodded solemnly, and she continued.

"Cassandra Wilkes has been arrested on evidence obtained through deception. As most of you know she risked her life for mine on New Sydney, and has been an exemplary officer. I've found evidence of corruption within Starfleet Command, two confirmed, but I think there's more."

Harry was the first to speak, "Corruption in Starfleet, what could possibly be the motive?"

Chakotay answered, "Personal gain, treaties, among other things."

"What about my father," said Tom, "I doubt he's involved."

"I hope you're right," Kathryn looked around the table, "because when I have hard evidence I'm presenting it to him and the Federation Council."

"This is different than all of our other battles," B'Elanna thought aloud, "and there have been some tough ones; the Borg, Species eight-four-seven-two, Kazon, and six dozen others."

"Not including the spatial anomalies Voyager encountered," Tom remarked, "and B'Elanna is correct, we will need to proceed with discretion."

"In the Collective there was no deception or corruption," said Seven.

Harry laughed, "Here's to Borg assimilation."

"How do you plan to proceed," asked Tuvok.

"Good old fashioned detective work," answered Kathryn, "and Cassandra has given me a clue. Someone went to her and threatened me - with what I'm not sure. Whoever it was it is unlikely they are directly involved. I'm not willing to let her take the fall for this. She's part of our family."


	8. Chapter 8

_A thousand footsteps echoed in her ears, a thundering noise drowning out the beating of her own heart. Earth gave way beneath her feet and she crumpled to the ground, dirt and blood staining her uniform. Sounds came from her mouth, indistinct animalistic wails. The pads of her feet burned with pain, and she looked down. Cassandra couldn't remember what happened to her boots. A scream cut through the confusion. Adrenaline blocked her agony and propelled her forward. Night was falling, and the world was going black. Without knowing where she was going she knew she was close. A clearing loomed ahead, familiar and new. Blindly staggering forward she new what was coming; a bloody tableau played out a thousand times in her memory. Four Cardassian soldiers, a lifeless form on the ground at their feet. Rage took over every cell in her body and somehow made her strong. The first one she caught off guard, the second was no match, the third put up a fight, and the fourth begged for mercy. She gave him none. Five bodies on the ground, one human. The corpse had poorly cut short black hair, and bright green eyes, along with burns and bruises over her alabaster skin. _

"_Mom," she called, knowing it was futile._

_On the ground around her was loose black hair, remnants of her treasure. She lay on the ground next to her, shivering from cold and grief. Her right hand found home on the lifeless cheek of her mother, and, with the smell of blood in the air, she gave in to exhaustion._

In her cell Cassandra bolted out of the dream, and back into reality. It was so vivid she could still smell blood and feel the rage in herself. War changed people, but it had warped her in a way she feared could never be undone. It had been a month since her imprisonment began, and the sameness was starting to bother her. The guard refused to speak to her, no matter how many times she tried to engage him, and she'd been refused visitors - the only reason Kathryn could see her was because of her rank. The memories of the time spent together seemed distant, as if part of some story she'd read.

"Can you at least tell me what time it is," she asked the guard peevishly.

He looked about, to make sure they were alone.

"Oh four hundred."

Inside her body something was happening, as it often did when she relived… that day. Her mind raced, sweat beaded her brow, and every cell in her begged for release. The form of release varied, a few hours on the Holodeck, alcohol, drugs, sexual intercourse, and the list went on.

She paced instead, did push-ups, and tried to recite her favourite poems verbatim. It worked, and gradually the cravings stopped. As much as she'd chided Kathryn for the dangers of the Delta Quadrant Cassandra would have gone back in a second, if it meant getting out of the cell.

Kathryn looked from up from her PADD and towards the clock, it was four in the morning. Letting out a tired sigh she put the PADD down and rubbed her temples. Another sleepless night. Getting up from her desk she went into her living room, and then to the balcony. The night sky comforted her, and the full moon brought a rare smile to her face. Somewhere a dog barked, and she thought of Molly. The Irish Setter was an integral part of Mark's family, and barely recognised her during a visit. The version of home she held in her heart for so long was not the one she lived in. Mark had remarried, had a son, and she was knowingly tarnishing the institution her life was based on. Fate had not been kind, but, then again, she wasn't the sort of woman to believe in that sort of thing. Science, facts, computer readouts, were the only church she needed. Still, as she stood on her balcony overlooking the Bay, Kathryn had the uncontrollable urge to pray.

"How much time do you have," Cassandra asked Kathryn, the woman having stopped for a visit.

"Your trial is in another six weeks," Kathryn sat on the cot next to Cassandra, "and I've made some startling discoveries. You look tired."

"Thanks," replied Cassandra sarcastically, "but I really am not equipped for this. Besides you the only person I talk to is myself, the food is alright but I have no appetite. I want out of this cell."

Kathryn ordered the guard to give them privacy, and as soon as he was out of sight she turned to Cassandra. Without a word she took the woman into her arms, willing courage through her embrace. Burying her face in Kathryn's chest Cassandra wept, soaking Kathryn's tunic. Kathryn whispered soothing words and kissed her forehead.

"I will get you out of here," she vowed.

Pulling back slightly Cassandra looked up at Kathryn, "I need distraction, to take me from my thoughts."

"I understand. Do you remember the Void?"

She felt Cassandra shiver, "I try to forget."

"Me too," Kathryn took Cassandra's hand in her own, "but I can't. The Void had an alarming effect on me. I locked myself in my quarters, not eating or sleeping, just thinking. I looked into myself in a way I'd never been able to do."

"What did you find?"

"Guilt, mostly, and shame."

"How did you recover?"

"I almost didn't," she answered, "but then I saw the people standing beside me, ready to face the darkness with me, as I will for you."

"I'm not sure I-"

"Yes you can," Kathryn said firmly, "because I need you."

The guard returned, Admiral Paris standing next to him.

"We need to talk," he said simply, and Kathryn forced a smile for Cassandra before leaving.

They went into his office, and he closed the door behind them.

"I thought you were headed for Lira Prime," he began, "to settle the mining dispute."

"Admiral Galahad went in my stead, I'm afraid something came up."

He sighed, "I'm worried about you; missing briefings, declining invitations, what's going on?"

She looked into his eyes, letting her instinct tell her if he were untrustworthy.

"Before I left for New Sydney you said there might be a leak from within Command," she explained, "and I have reason to believe it's more than that."

"Starfleet Intelligence is investigating the matter," he rebuked.

"I'd like to know the progress they've made."

He shook his head, "That's classified."

"Even from me?"

When he looked away and refused to respond she knew something was horribly wrong.

"Owen, please," she pleaded, "what is it?"

Looking to the window and back at her he chose his words carefully, "They have to keep that information classified, _especially _from you."

"I'm being investigated," she scoffed.

"Yes," he admitted.

She folded her arms under her breasts, "And what prompted that?"

Instead he countered with another question, "Why didn't you tell me you and Miss Wilkes are involved romantically?"

"That's personal, and nobody's business but my own."

"I understand," Owen told her, "but others don't. Try and see it from another point of view. With you and Cassandra involved will your investigations truly be objective? And some people want to know, just how long has this been going on?"

"I beg your pardon."

He stepped closer to her, "When you were in the Delta Quadrant, did you ever fraternize with a member of your crew?"

"Never," she said forcibly, "not once did I cross that line."

"I believe you. Seven years is a long time, especially when you think it might be seventy."

An old wound was scratched open for Kathryn, and it bled in furious words.

"I know what could have happened if I did cross that line. It was painful, to see so many around me finding happiness, knowing I could never have the same. My duty overrode everything else."

"Starfleet Intelligence wants you to undergo a full psychiatric evaluation."

If it had not been so hurtful she may have laughed, "They think I'm crazy?"

"No," he put a hand on her shoulder, "but I think it would be best. Prove them wrong, Kathryn. I wish they could see what I see. Look what you did for Tom. He was a criminal with no future, now he's an exemplary officer, and a father. My son says without you're faith in him he wouldn't be half the man he is today. Dozens of others have all said the same thing."

"After Cassandra is freed I'll do whatever is asked of me," replied Kathryn, "but until then I need to focus."

"A word of advice; don't put it off too long."

Kathryn excused herself and went back to her apartment. When she approached her door she saw someone sitting on the floor, waiting.

"Ami," she called, and the young woman stood.

"I had to see you," she answered, "do you have time, it's important."

She nodded and opened the door. They went into the living room and Kathryn offered the young woman a drink.

"Green tea," Ami replied.

With the tea she also replicated herself a cup of coffee.

"What can I do for you?"

"Today some official looking people came to see me," she explained, "and they had a warrant to search the flat in Tokyo, as well as the restaurant."

"It's to be expected."

"I just thought you should know that Admiral Galahad authorized it," Ami hesitated before continuing, "and they took something from Cassandra."

Kathryn knitted her brows in thought, "What did they take?"

"I thought it was strange, but they took her old Starfleet boots."

"I don't understand," Kathryn said, "why is that important?"

Ami shrugged, "I don't know, but I thought it was strange. They also asked for the accounting logs and guestbook from the restaurant."

"If there's anything you think I should know, please tell me."

"I stayed in the guest bedroom, doing errands for her," Ami paused, "and I noticed a weird behaviour from Cassandra. Every so often she took out the boots, polished them, and put them back. When I asked she'd only say 'I want to know they're there'."

"Add another mystery to the dozen I'm trying solve."

With Ami back in Tokyo Kathryn went to her database, bringing up Cassandra's service record. She read it in detail, every mission and every official log that referenced her. Something immediately stuck out. It was an entry from Starfleet Medical, simply stating that after a two month treatment following a two week shore leave Cassandra had been released. When she tried to find more information about the treatment she received Kathryn discovered the shocking truth about her lover. On shore leave she had gone to visit her mother, only to find the tavern razed to the ground and her mother missing. For four days she tracked the kidnappers to a field, and after another three days her Commanding Officer found her, Captain Galahad. Cassandra was broken, severely injured, and barefoot. The first Doctor to examined her diagnosed her with catatonia, as she was as lifeless as the corpse next to her. No amount of stimulation worked, or therapy. When she finally did sleep it was only to wake up in howling screams.

"Patient exhibits extreme post traumatic stress," she read aloud, "and after six days remains in a state of absolute catatonia. The tragic circumstances in which she was discovered has caused patient to disassociate with reality. Though not attempting self-harm as her physician I have ordered her to be monitored at all times."

After eight days of not responding it seemed Cassandra suddenly snapped out of it. She was alert, and responding well to treatment. Due to the nature of her initial evaluation she was kept for another six weeks, and in that time was a model patient. Upon release she returned to active duty, only to disappear into the Maquis days later. In a flash of realisation everything made sense. Someone was trying to put Cassandra back into the dark place she'd escaped, to keep her silent. Thinking back over the time she visited Cassandra even Kathryn could see the isolation and monotony was beginning to wear her down.

Kathryn herself had once gone to that dark place as well. It was after her father's death, she refused to get out of bed at all. The deep emotions had never left, but they were at least subdued. Urgency was added to her mission. Kathryn wasn't sure how much more Cassandra could take.

Admiral Galahad looked at the boots on her table, and let herself sigh. She was five years from retirement and a generous pension, unless Admiral Janeway had her way. The feelings of irony were not lost on her, she helped Cassandra in the past and was now trying to harm her. It could have been anyone, she held no personal hatred towards the young woman- in fact she pitied her. Taking a sip of wine she reclined in her chair and studied the ceiling. With another sip she tried to drown out her shame. The synthehol started doing the trick, and her head lightened. In a moment like this she could almost forget the horrors of the wars. Every man and woman stepped up to do their duty, Lieutenant Wilkes was no exception. Onboard her first command ship, the U.S.S. Columbia, the young woman served with a diligence even she came to admire. After an intense three months of fighting the woman had taken shore leave, and when she didn't rendezvous on schedule the Admiral had to go looking for her. With a large gulp she finished her drink, but the hold of memory was strong. When she first came upon the bodies in the field she thought Cassandra was dead, her skin was cold and pale. The sight still haunted her. The Lieutenant was covered in blood, some of it not her own, and her feet resembled processed meat.

Getting to her feet she replicated herself another glass, and settled in for what she knew was going to be a long night.

When Kathryn set her mind to something she was not the type to let anything stand in her way. In the morning she filed a grievance on Cassandra's behalf about the conditions of her imprisonment, and by the end of the day several concessions had been made. She would be allowed to have visitors for two hours a day - Starfleet and civilian, access to books for reading, and a half hour of supervised outdoor time. Her first visitor was not Kathryn, but B'Elanna Torres.

The guard lead them to a room with a table and two chairs, posting himself just outside the door.

"Long time no see," Cassandra greeted, as B'Elanna sat.

She smiled, "Too long. I'm sorry I haven't been visiting you more often."

"Motherhood is treating you well then?"

"Definitely, Miral said her first word already."

"You must be very proud," Cassandra looked wistfully out the window.

B'Elanna leaned forward, "What about you? Do you plan on having kids?"

"I don't know," she replied, "it's never really come up. First I was in Starfleet, zigzagging all over this Quadrant, then the Maquis, followed by getting stranded in the Delta Quadrant. Not that it stopped you."

They both laughed.

"I don't know why we drifted apart," B'Elanna said, "when we were on Chakotay's ship we started to become friends. What happened?"

"Seska," Cassandra answered, "she never liked me much. Tried to get everyone to hate me."

"In light of what happened that probably means you were a good person."

"No, but she saw me as a threat to her and Chakotay."

"But you don't even like men in a romantic sense."

Cassandra shrugged, "I think the only person she liked less than me is Kathryn."

With the last comment B'Elanna paused, and looked around the room.

"What is it," Cassandra asked.

"I'm curious," she said, "how did the two of you come to be?"

"Truthfully? I'm not sure I understand it myself," the window caught her attention again, "but when she's with me I feel like the missing piece I'd been searching for is found. We barely know each other, but we understand one another."

"I know the feeling," B'Elanna whispered.

For Cassandra the concessions did little to help, her mind had strayed to a dark place and stayed. The breaking point came two weeks before her trail, before Kathryn's visit. She was out in the garden, inhaling the fragrant scent of a lily. The sky was overcast, and clouds threatened rain. Time seemed to slow suddenly, but her heart rate increased exponentially. A pair of polished boots were sitting on a bench, straight ahead. She fell to her knees, covering her ears with her hands. The sound of screaming echoed in her mind. She didn't realise it was her own voice. The scent of the flower was replaced by the iron smell of blood. Taking deep breaths she tried to calm herself, but the methods she'd relied on failed her. Cassandra tried to recall Kathryn's face, her kiss, and the feel of her warm body next to her. Managing to picture it in her mind she calmed, but in her vision she opened to her eyes to see clouded green ones staring back at her. Somehow she felt in two places at once, in the garden and in the field. Arms wrapped around her, kneeling beside her. They felt constricting, a vice grip around her abdomen, she spun to face her attacker. The kneeling form put up her hands in defence, obscuring her face.

"Stop," the person said, and she recognised the voice.

She grabbed the person by the arms and pulled them apart, to reveal Kathryn, cowering and concerned.

"Oh my God," Cassandra fell back on her elbows, writhing in guilt and confusion.

Kathryn put her hands on either side of Cassandra's face, forcing her to look directly in her eyes.

"I'm here," she said, "and you're alright. Cassandra!"

In hearing her name she stopped shaking, and tried to breath deeply. She still held fast to Kathryn's wrists, an anchor in her metal maelstrom.

"I-I," Cassandra stammered.

Kathryn shushed her and smoothed her brow.

"I'm here now, everything is going to be okay. Can you stand?"

She nodded, and Kathryn helped her to her feet. In the commotion several personnel had gathered around her, one of them calling Admiral Paris. The younger woman leaned on Kathryn for support, her legs weak and head spinning. Kathryn defiantly looked to Owen.

"She is not going back to that cell," she informed him, "and is now under my personal care. If there is a problem you can demote me back to Ensign. If she runs, or anything happens, I take full responsibility. And if anyone tries to stop me, you'll have to arrest me."

When they got back to Kathryn's apartment she called for the Doctor right away. Cassandra was a wreck, weak and weeping. He gave her a sedative, told her to rest, and joined Kathryn in the living room.

"How is she," she asked him.

He looked down, "Not good I'm afraid. I read her medical file and I'm afraid she may relapse."

"What can be done for her?"

"I could describe a treatment of antipsychotics," he offered, "but the brain develops a chemical dependency on them, so it's not the most advisable course of action. Schedule an appointment with a therapist, in fact, Reg is close with Deanna Troi, perhaps I could get her to see Miss Wilkes."

She nodded in agreement, "I think that would be a good idea."

The Doctor placed another injection into the hypospray, "This is another sedative. The one I gave her should keep her sleeping for the next eight hours, but if she's anything like she was earlier today give her ten cc's and call me immediately."

"I understand," taking the injection she put it on the table between them, "I'm not going to rest until those responsible are brought to justice."

"Admiral," he began carefully, "as your physician and friend I urge you to be careful, things aren't friendly out there."

"I look at Cassandra," Kathryn paused and put a finger to her lip, "see what they did to her. It was nothing short of torture. They used her most painful memories against her."

He said nothing, just paused in contemplative thought.

Kathryn continued, "Why is it things were actually easier in the Delta Quadrant? We fought so hard to get home, and for what? To be betrayed by the people that are supposed to protect us?"

"I don't know Admiral."

She stood, gripping her mug so tightly her knuckles turned white.

"Do you believe in fate, Doctor?"

"Admiral?"

Pacing a bit she looked into her mug, as if it held answers.

"I'm not sure I understand it myself, but lately I've begun to feel that this is my destiny. There's never an easy choice for me to make."

"When it comes to people of character you're one of them. If it is you that gets most of the hard choices it's because you can make them."

Her shoulders sank and she sat, "I don't know how much more I can handle."

As the Doctor stood he went around the couch, a reassuring hand on Kathryn's shoulder.

"Not all paths are easy to walk, but you're not on yours alone. Everyone, myself included - your family and friends - we're here to make your burden lighter."

Kathryn forced a swallow past the knot in her throat.

"Thank-you."

Listlessly she left the embrace of sleep, and looking out the window could see the beginnings of dawn. The sky was bright orange and yellow; it reminded her of fire. Shivering and pushing the memory away she examined her surroundings. She was in Kathryn's bed, dressed in silk two-piece nightclothes. Lightly she traced the monogram 'K.J' on her chest. As she sat up footsteps approached, and Kathryn leaned in the doorway.

"How are you," Kathryn asked.

She gave a half-hearted shrug, "Sleepy."

"The Doctor gave you a sedative."

Cassandra looked up at Kathryn imploringly, "What happened to me?"

"You had an anxiety attack," she explained as she approached the bed, "triggered by the sight of your old boots."

"I barely remember," whispered Cassandra, and Kathryn sat on the edge of the bed.

"You're not going back, I've taken personal responsibility for you."

"But I-I," Cassandra started to shake, and grinded her fists against her thighs, "I almost hurt you."

In her mind's eye she saw how Kathryn had recoiled in fear.

"I'm fine," she reassured, "just worried about you."

Cassandra pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face. A light touch on her calf and she found Kathryn's face less than an inch away.

"Tell me," Kathryn said softly, "what happened?"

"I relived that day," Cassandra stared at her toes, "every scent, every sensation. I smelled the charcoal remains of my mother's tavern, felt the grass beneath my bare feet. When I went into the ruins I expected to find her body, mostly bones with a few charred pieces of flesh. Mentally I prepared for that eventuality, but I found nothing- except drag marks towards the forest. I _hunted_ them, Kathryn, obsessively. My boots gave me blisters, so I took them off after a day. Three days I followed their trail, not stopping for food or sleep, fuelled by blind rage."

Kathryn gave away no emotions on her face, not horror or pity. She said nothing, allowing Cassandra to finish.

"Then I found them," she stretched out her fingers, and examined her hands, "and unleashed my fury. I killed those men, with my bare hands, and in that moment I became just like them - a murderer."

"But they killed your mother-"

Cassandra interrupted her, "And that was no excuse. The last one, oh god, I can still hear him begging for his life."

She shifted and sat next to Cassandra, and the young woman nestled into the crook of her shoulder. Wordlessly they spoke volumes, and Kathryn put her arm around Cassandra.

"You must think I'm a monster."

"Never," Kathryn replied firmly, "what happened was tragic, but you were the victim. I see you, full of guilt and remorse, and there's no way you could be a monster. Human, maybe."

Silence enveloped them again, as the sun rose into the sky. Kathryn rested her chin on top of Cassandra's head.

"Kathryn?"

"Hmm?"

Cassandra intertwined her fingers with Kathryn's.

"Thank-you."


	9. Chapter 9

**[ Sorry for the hiatus, but I am back and will finish this story. Happy Reading! ]**

The easy silence they'd fallen into was shattered by a chime at the door. Cassandra feared the worse. Wordlessly Kathryn left the room and went to the door. She heard what sounded like an introduction, and a slender woman with dark hair and eyes entered the bedroom and offered her hand.

"I'm Counsellor Deanna Troi," Cassandra shook her hand, "the Doctor contacted me about your situation and I've come to see if there is anything I can do to help."

"Oh, thank-you," Cassandra was embarrassed by her state, and subconsciously patted her tangled hair.

Deanna smiled, "Don't worry about it, I'm a counsellor not a beauty pageant judge."

She caught Cassandra's questioning gaze.

"I'm Betazoid," Deanna explained, "and have some empathic skills."

Cassandra frequently got flustered by the presence of anyone with telepathic abilities, and when she swung her eyes towards Kathryn she tried not to think about how her auburn hair fell lightly past her shoulders - or the hint of cleavage peeking out from the middle of her lilac tunic. She quickly looked away, focusing her mind on more pure topics.

The tips of her ears turned red as Cassandra mumbled an apology.

Deanna laughed and patted Cassandra's hand.

"Wait," Kathryn asked from the doorway, "what did I just miss?"

That only made Cassandra join into Deanna's laughter.

"Do you have free time now?" Asked Cassandra.

"My Captain has given me two weeks leave."

Kathryn added, "I should thank Jean-Luc."

"He actually wanted to speak with you at your earliest convenience," remembered Deanna.

Cassandra stood, a bit shaky on her feet.

"I need to shower and get dressed," she explained, "but I'll be right out."

The two women left the room and Cassandra made her way to the bathroom.

"Can I get you anything," Kathryn offered, as she gestured for Deanna to sit.

"Chamomile tea," answered Deanna, as Kathryn replicated two steaming mugs - hers coffee of course. For a moment the sat in uneasy silence, not like earlier - Kathryn noted - when she had been content to be with Cassandra without saying a word.

"I don't need to be an empath to know you're ill at ease, Admiral," Deanna said frankly.

Kathryn rebuffed, "This is a complicated situation."

"One thing I've observed about those in Command," Deanna chose her words carefully, "is the capacity to fiercely protect those around them."

"That's true," Kathryn sipped her coffee, "it's second nature."

"But, as close as you are to this situation, can you maintain objectivity?"

Kathryn pursed her lips, "I don't know if I can, but objectivity at this stage is a moot point. A lot of people are affected by this situation."

"I know," Deanna smiled, "and I'm glad you're not overconfident."

Kathryn elected for silence to be her response.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Cassandra stepped out into the living room, looking refreshed in a short-sleeved buttoned top and slacks.

"It's no problem," replied Deanna, as the younger woman sat next to Kathryn on the couch.

As Kathryn went to stand Cassandra grabbed her hand, gripping her fingers tightly.

"Where should we start," she asked, Kathryn returning to her seat.

Deanna threaded her fingers together and rested them in her lap, "Tell me about what lead up to your panic attack the other day."

"I was imprisoned," she began, "and isolated for long periods at a time. I've never done well with confinement. Somehow it brought up a bad memory, and a lot of bad feelings."

"Which memory?"

Cassandra took a deep breath, "Memories of my mother's death, and my retaliation. When my mom died I had nobody else close to me."

"What about your father," asked Deanna.

She shrugged, "Never knew him. My mom never talked about him at all, and when I asked questions they were brushed off. Besides, my mom was enough."

"Siblings?"

"Nope."

Deanna thought for a moment, "What do you do for a living?"

"A little bit of everything," she paused, "some things legal, some things not."

"Then the charges against you are valid."

"Yes," agreed Cassandra, "but I had an arrangement with Starfleet. I help them find their warhead and the charges are dropped."

"Do you feel that's sufficient atonement for your past crimes?"

There was no malice in Deanna's tone, only the intonation of question Cassandra already knew the answer to. Kathryn's hand warm in hers gave her comfort.

"No, I don't."

"Yet you're fighting for your freedom, a freedom you don't feel you deserve."

Cassandra inhaled sharply, "Well, that's true."

Progress, Deanna thought to herself, and knew how to finally free Cassandra.

"But this isn't about your freedom, what's right," Deanna purposefully looked towards Kathryn, "or even about your love. This is about something else, this about you giving up control."

"Control," the word felt hot and angry in her mouth, "control over what?"

With a forceful voice Deanna replied, "Your guilt."

"And why am I guilty?"

"Not for the killing of the Cardassians," Cassandra bowed her head, "but for not protecting the one person you care about."

Kathryn finally spoke, "I don't think, Counsellor-"

"No, Kathryn," interrupted Cassandra, "she's right. I guess that's the cause of the fear in me."

"She was proud of you," whispered Kathryn, as she touched Cassandra's cheek, "of the woman you are."

"I'm guilty for a lot of things I've done."

"Guilt is natural," Deanna explained, "and even sometimes necessary. How else would we learn from our mistakes? You're letting the guilt punish you, because you think you deserve it."

A tear slipped from Cassandra's eye and made a sound when it hit the coffee table. Two quickly followed the first, until they spilled from her eyes onto her cheeks.

"Then it's not," she took a deep shaky breath, "it's not my fault she died?"

Sobs ripped from her throat after her last word, and Kathryn's arms encircled her. Deanna moved from her chair to the space next to Cassandra, the sad relief echoed in her crying eyes.

As Kathryn reassured her Deanna spoke firmly, "It's not your fault."

Cassandra's form, shaking, felt comfort in Kathryn's embrace. For Kathryn she could feel the weight being lifted from her lover's shoulders, and as Cassandra let out a deep calming breath the darkness left with it.

After Deanna left Kathryn went to the replicator to get a cup of coffee. Cassandra walked over to her and gently put her arms around Kathryn's midsection.

"I love you," she said, her eyes locked to Kathryn's.

Kathryn smiled, "I love you too."

They kissed.

"I really would not like to go to prison," announced Cassandra, "I can't even begin to describe how much I would like not going to prison."

"Seeing as how they outlawed conjugal visits centuries ago," joked Kathryn, "I'd really like it if you didn't go to prison."

Cassandra chuckled, "Is that all I'm wanted for?"

Kathryn furrowed her brow in thought, "I was also hoping you could cook."

"Cook," she laughed, "I can barely work a replicator."

"Then I hope you really like peanut butter and jam sandwiches."

In response Cassandra's stomach rumbled, "That's a good idea."

She walked into the kitchen, and started shamelessly rummaging through Kathryn's cupboards. Kathryn was surprised at how good it felt, to have Cassandra so close.

"There you are," Cassandra frowned the jar of raspberry jam, "I don't suppose I can convert you to strawberry?"

Kathryn smirked, "Never. Raspberry tastes far better."

"Is this an issue you're firm on?"

"Jam flavour is a serious matter."

"Okay," Cassandra grabbed the bread and peanut butter, "I can live with raspberry."

"Do we have an accord," asked Kathryn, spreading on the peanut butter.

Cassandra handed her a slice of bread, "Agreed. Should we officially enter it into the log?"

"Computer," it chimed in response, "make an entry and start the Cassandra and Kathryn joint log that on today's date it was agreed upon that raspberry jam is to be used in the making of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. End log. Satisfied?"

She laughed, "Very."

Her reflection looked haggard, and try as she might Admiral Galahad had little success persuading the other Admirals to move against Janeway. The secrets she'd been keeping were about to be brought into the light for all to see. If only Cassandra had never come into her life, things would be a lot less complicated. Fleetingly she wondered what Janeway would do once the truth was laid bare. Her love for Cassandra would fade faster than the Iralian ice caps in summer.

The half-decanter of wine teased her from its place on the table, mocking her resolve to stay sober. In the morning she had meetings with several off-world officials regarding a territory dispute over a drifting asteroid. There was something she was looking forward too, she thought, as she fingered a small silver circle embedded into the skin of her neck - just below her left ear.

"Habits, habits, habits," she muttered, taking a long draught straight from the decanter.

As per her usual when she was inebriated, Galahad went to her collection of baubles contained on shelves flanking her fireplace. She stroked a necklace with a large blue stone, Adrata's Eye from Romulus, a dagger from an ancient Klingon noble family, and other such objects to flaunt her wealth and good taste. Her affinity for unique objects was learned behaviour, in her youth she had been satisfied with the essentials in life and somewhere she could find silence.

Now silence terrified her.

The symmetry of San Francisco was a comfort to Seven. Standing on the balcony overlooking downtown was her favourite way to relax in the evening. He approached from behind and gently put an arm around her waist.

"Penny for your thoughts," offered Chakotay.

"The penny has not been used since American currency was officially abolished in twenty-one-zero-four," Seven turned to face him, "I will however accept a Federation Credit in lieu of a penny."

Chakotay smiled at her somewhat off-beat sense of humour and replied, "What has got you so deep in thought?"

"Admiral Janeway."

"Ah, I see," was all he said, not pressing further. The Admiral was almost a point of contention in their relationship. Sometimes he wondered what exactly Seven's feelings were for Janeway, but to ask her he risked her asking the same question, a question he was not eager to answer. He'd loved her - and still did - but not in the same way he loved Seven. Kathryn was his perfect foil, and he knew her soul. Chakotay firmly believe the tempers of love and passion would have ruined their relationship.

He caught Seven looking at him, a question in her grey-blue eyes. His finger stroked her cheek.

"What is it," he asked.

"I would like, when were alone that is," Seven had the innocent doe-eyed look that made his heart melt each time she opened up to him, "would you please call me Annika?"

Chakotay broke into a smile, "Of course I will Sev- I mean, Annika."

He felt Seven slide her hand into his, and he accepted the gentle kiss she offered. Their relationship may not be typical, but it was full of love.

Assembled in Janeway's tiny living room her loyal former Senior Staff was congregated, excluding Harry Kim and the Doctor, who were off planet at the moment. For hours they'd been building Cassandra's defence, until only one factor remained.

"We need to decide who will be representing the defence," Kathryn announced.

Tom spoke first, "I think you're the best choice."

"No," disagreed Cassandra, "Admiral Janeway should maintain at least the façade of impartiality. Also, I think it should be someone who's judgement is not plagued by emotions."

She turned to Tuvok, "I would be honoured if you were to present my case."

"It is a very logical choice Miss Wilkes," he acquiesced, "and I will do my best as your defence."

From the sofa B'Elanna shifted uncomfortably, "What happens if we lose?"

The thought silence everyone in the room. The righteousness of their cause made victory more than plausible, but the odds against them were great.

"I hear there's a nice penal colony in New Zealand with my name on the reservation list," said Cassandra sarcastically.

"You could run," said Kathryn softly, "the universe is huge and the Federation has it's limitations."

Running would never be an option for Cassandra, not anymore, besides, Kathryn would never run with her. The thought saddened her. When push came to shove Kathryn would choose her duty before her love, as history had proven. She could have used the Array to get home to Mark, her intended, but instead she did the right thing. The strength of one woman's character made everyone humble.

Cassandra sighed, "I could run, hide, living under a rock for the rest of my life. At least I'd be free, right? Then there's the other side of the coin, the not-so-glamorous reality. The charges are heavy and I'll probably spend the rest of my life in a penal colony. Either option is not very pleasant. I do have hope, however, that we will pull through. Even if things don't turn out exactly how we think it should, there's something I want to say to all of you. Thank-you. On _Voyager_ I never interacted much with any of you, yet here you are, ready to fight for me. Seven years together has truly made us a family."

Tom reached out and squeezed B'Elanna's hand, as she brushed off a tear.

Kathryn held up her coffee mug, in a toast, "To family."

Everyone else held up their mugs, including Tuvok.

"To family," they echoed in harmony.

After everyone had left Kathryn found Cassandra sipping her tea while sitting on the couch. Kathryn sat next to her, closely, and ran her fingers through Cassandra's silky tresses. The younger woman smiled, and Kathryn's lips found the hollow behind her lover's ear.

"I need you to promise me something," said Kathryn, reaching for Cassandra's hand.

She kissed Kathryn's slender fingers, "Anything."

"Promise me you'll run if they try to lock you away."

Immediately Cassandra stiffened, and pulled away slightly.

"Anything but that."

Kathryn would not relent, "It's the only thing I ask."

"And the only thing I refuse to promise you," Cassandra put her hands on either side of Kathryn's face.

"You would let me run?"

"Yes," she answered strongly, "I would rather you run than spend the rest of your life in jail. You don't deserve to go to prison and I won't let you rot there."

Pulling Kathryn towards her Cassandra kissed her lips, and let her hands move from Kathryn's face to her lower back.

"I will run," their lips met again, "if you come with me."

For a moment Kathryn did not respond, only allowed Cassandra to kiss her again. When she went to answer Cassandra silenced her with another kiss.

"Don't say out loud what I already know," she told Kathryn.

"Then you shouldn't need me to say that I love you," they kissed repeatedly, each longer and deeper than the last, "and that my life would have a piece missing without you in it."

Their bodies felt the heat between them, and Cassandra pulled Kathryn closer. She sensed arms encircling her waist and Kathryn's lips kissing her neck. She moaned, reaching for the hem of Kathryn's shirt. Her fingers traced delicate circles up Kathryn's abdomen. Pulling away to admire Kathryn's face Cassandra was struck by an unbelievable sense of bliss. The rightness of being entwined with Kathryn's body surprised her, as did the love she could feel growing between them. She skilfully pulled the shirt off of Kathryn, throwing it aside, her bra following. Kathryn was not far behind in deftly undoing the buttons on Cassandra's shirt and unhinging the clasp of her bra. They joined their counterparts on the floor. With flesh against flesh a frenzy was started. This was not making love, this act was on a different scale altogether. This was consummation in it's purest form. In both women all five senses were overwhelmed, and a certain sixth sense had found hold in them. This sixth sense was the consuming desire to make physical the irrevocable bond joining them. The connection was a hot current of carnal energy, so primitive the only music appropriate was the pounding of drums. They both tapped into this current, and started the dance as old as time itself. Through kiss and caress valleys rose and fell, mountains shook. As moan and ache unleashed themselves the monsoons flooded the earth and the cycle began anew. Like a violent crescendo of thunder they climaxed simultaneously, and curled up tightly, utterly spent.

"That was amazing," said Cassandra between gasping breaths.

Kathryn sighed, "It was unlike anything I've ever experienced."

Sitting up Cassandra smiled, looking at the explosion of clothes. The scent of their lovemaking was still fresh in the air, and Kathryn was stretching her arms languidly - stirring another wave of passion in Cassandra.

"To bed," she stood, gently taking Kathryn's hand to help her up.

A knowing grin graced Kathryn's face, "For sleep?"

Without a reply Cassandra led the way to the bedroom, still clasping Kathryn's hand. Inside she pulled down the blankets and slipped into bed; Kathryn followed her in. Now warm their bodies immediately called to the other's. Like a perfect passing of the seasons their ecstasy began anew.

In a poorly lit room a girl, looking to be no older than nineteen, is next to a machine. A callous man enters the room, taking a cord from the machine, the end of it a sharp two inch needle. He takes the cord and without warning inserts the needle into a node on the girl's neck. After so many years she feels only a slight pinch, and the familiar tingling sensation that found every nerve. Fishing a vial out of his pocket he loaded a pinch of crystals into a small device.

"Buyer has special request," he turned the crystals to smoke and blew it into the girl's face.

She shuddered as the drugs clouded her mind, and in the hazy dim room she could not make out the face of her client. The rare buyer was actually kind, but most were cruel. The man put a chair in the room, and the buyer sat. It was a women, that much she could tell, with tightly bound hair in a bun. The client said something to the man, and he gently inserted another cord into the buyer's node. Connection was almost instantaneous. Without a pause for the girl to get used to the buyer's presence in her mind she was already being invaded. This buyer was a repeat customer, and navigated the darkest crevices of the girl's mind with ease.

"_Can you feel me_," said a soft woman's voice in her mind.

"Yes," the girl whispered.

The woman smiled, "_I can do so much._"

She gasped as the buyer forced her way into her secrets, desires, and fears. Usually she was able to keep client's from this part of herself, the only portion of her mind not violated. Memories of pain were opened with relish, and the woman seemed especially interested in her fears.

"_Are you afraid of me?_"

"No."

"_Not yet, but you will be_."

Then she unleashed unspeakable horrors to the girl's mind. Grizzly images flashed before her minds eye, and somewhere in her peripheral feelings she sensed the pleasure the buyer was getting from this. Her strength broke, but try as she might she couldn't pull the cord from her neck. The drugs had made her listless and drowsy. She barely had the strength to cry.

"_Do you fear me now?_"

No reply came from the girl, her eyes glazed over and head lolling on her chest. Somewhere in her mind she was wounded, and after a few more minutes the buyer disconnected and left the room. As she looked out the door into the hallway she heard the woman engage her combadge.

"Admiral Galahad to _Fitzgerald_, one to beam back."

As the woman vanished into a beam of light the girl imprinted the image of her face into her mind.

Three days from the start of the trial Ami knocked on Kathryn's door as they were having lunch. Cassandra greeted the young woman with a hug and they went to the living room.

Ami was quiet as usual, and accepted the tea offered from Kathryn.

"How's the restaurant," Cassandra asked.

"Really good," Ami smiled, "all the girls are working their hardest to make sure things go smoothly. Chloe I moved from maitre d' to chef and she's been doing well."

Cassandra missed her little teak and glass sushi shop. They never really made much profit - Cassandra insisted on real fish, not replicated or farm fish, which was three times the price. Her staff was well-paid and given bonuses often. She had eight waitresses, two chefs, three sous chefs, two hosts, and Ami as manager while she was busy. Everyone worked hard, and business was decent enough.

"What brings you to San Francisco while it's a busy Friday night in Tokyo," probed Cassandra.

"One of Bokar-san's associates dropped by your flat," she explained, "looking for you. I refused to tell him, so he gave me something to give to you."

Fished out of Ami's pocket was an isolinear chip. Cassandra took it to Kathryn's computer, and opened the file.

"It's got some sort of encryption," Cassandra pressed a few buttons, "it's a password."

"A password," Kathryn turned to Ami, "did you get some sort of clue?"

"No," replied Ami.

She tapped a few buttons, "It's not his name or mine. Let's try Evelyn, my mother's name… no, incorrect."

"Didn't he call her something else," Kathryn paused, "a sort of pet name?"

"Evie," Cassandra smiled as data flooded the screen. She navigated through the data, and it all seemed unrelated. It had the flight plan of a vessel carrying supplies through the fringe area of the Federation's border. It also had a passenger manifest, and the logs.

"What is it," inquired Kathryn.

"Random data," she mused for a moment, "but Bokar is very smart. He can't help me directly, so he gives me this mess of data and knows I'll make sense of it."

Kathryn pointed to the screen, "That looks like a flight path, but why do they go six light years off of their straight course into Federation territory? Look, it says here they hit a plasma storm and had to stop for repairs. Something doesn't fit."

"Unless they were meeting someone," Cassandra pulled up the passenger list, "it lists the Captain as Fritz Hassan. He's notorious for illegal activities and human trafficking."

"The Federation abolished slavery," argued Kathryn.

"That doesn't mean it doesn't happen."

Ami spoke finally, "Hassan usually has a net-girl working for him."

Realization dawned on Cassandra's face, "They were meeting a buyer."

"Since it was in Federation space and just a few light years from Deep Space Six the buyer's vessel must have filed any flight deviations," added Kathryn, "it's a rigid policy."

Immediately Cassandra ran a program to compare the flight path to other vessels in the area. It searched merchant fleets, science probes, and passenger ships. The search yielded nothing.

"There's one database I haven't checked," Cassandra looked to Kathryn, "maybe it was a Starfleet vessel."

"I think that's a highly unlikely probability," said Kathryn, slightly defensive.

Cassandra spoke carefully, "I'm sure there's a reasonable excuse of why a Starfleet vessel would make contact with this ship. I can't do this without your help, and isn't it better to know?"

"Is ignorance bliss," she asked aloud and Cassandra said nothing.

Kathryn had a look of defeat in her eyes.

"I know you've never had much love for Starfleet, but I am proud and honoured to be among it's Commanding rank. The ideals for which it stands for; peace, integrity, and exploration- means something to me, but I can't be naïve."

She tapped the computer controls, entering the Starfleet database and running the comparison.

She met Cassandra's gaze as the computer chimed, "It found something."


	10. Chapter 10

**Part Ten**

Enid Galahad new she was different from her peers her first year of grade school. Unlike the other children she never played in the sandbox, on the playground, or made excessive amounts of noise. She did play Pre-Squares, the game for youngsters based on the skills needed to play Parrises Squares, but only because at five years old she decided the path of her life. Her father was a wealthy man with a small fleet of merchant vessels, and her mother was a paradigm of feminine virtue. As a child she was denied nothing, save for a parent's love. After her birth her mother gave her over to her nanny, Jekan – a Bolian – to be reared. Jekan was a warm and giving presence in Enid 's childhood, only to be fired when she was three and replaced with Werner Roderick. He was a stout man who took over Enid 's tutelage with an iron grip, and was only remotely kind in the presence of her mother.

Roderick was a former military commando with Starfleet who had been thrown out of the service for conduct unbecoming of an officer. Enid 's father hired him as muscle under the guise of being her tutor and caregiver, but to his credit he helped shaped the woman she would one day become. By seven years old she could dismantle and reassemble a phaser in less than thirteen seconds. Her determination to become a woman of power and influence drover her to perfection in her studies. Enid graduated high school two years early, and was accepted into the Academy immediately. All of her teachers found her to be an excellent candidate for Command, except her Interspecies Relations professor. The teacher thought Enid lacked compassion and empathy necessary for a leader; the others found Enid capable of making difficult choices. While other commanders may risk the lives of their entire crew to save only one or two Galahad would leave them behind. She distinguished herself so well as a Captain in the Cardassian Wars and their aftermath that she was promoted to Admiral. Her ruthless tactics, calculating ambition, and military prowess made her a hero to the Federation.

Enid loved all the adulation, and how it raised her status. She was no fool to her own perversions, and had an unhealthy interest in younger women - especially young women under her command. Unlike most captains she frequently fraternized, though with the utmost discretion.

As she zipped up the jacket of her uniform Galahad thought of all the moments leading up to this one, and how once again she felt the power was in her hands. She would send Cassandra to prison, and get Janeway and her mongrel crew thrown out of Starfleet. With all things she wanted, she would put all of her cold heart into getting it.

For the umpteenth time Cassandra checked her appearance, several times pulling her hair down and restyling it. She was nervous about a lot of things. Today was the day she might lose her freedom, and Kathryn too. The thought dampened her optimistic mood.

Kathryn entered the bathroom, in uniform, and looking ready to take on the odds. For a moment she looked at the uniform, it's mauve shoulders and the twin pips on either side of her neck. This was her Kathryn, Vice Admiral Janeway, the Captain of the intrepid ship _Voyager_. Children admired her, people sought out her wisdom and her strength, but the past few months had taught Cassandra much truth about Kathryn. For all of her resilience she was capable of a vulnerability that amazed her. Kathryn Janeway needed to be loved, and to know she was loved - not by many, like some people, she was sated with just one.

"I think I'm ready," Cassandra announced.

"It's not too late to run," Kathryn reminded her, "we've come across some compelling facts, but they don't prove your innocence."

"I know," she turned back to the mirror, willing courage into her reflection.

Kathryn touched Cassandra's shoulder, "I'm not going to let you go down without a fight. There's a line from a poem by Edith Harrison 'and now bloody warriors there is still another battle to be fought, yet back to back you stand, two bodies, one purpose'."

The courtroom was empty when Owen Paris entered. A long desk with four chairs was at the front, behind it the Starfleet insignia. The desk faced a table with a single chair, and behind that rows of benches for people in attendance. He looked outside the large windows to a statue in the garden, one of a blindfolded Athena holding a set of scales. For a moment he envisioned all of his sins and all of his good deeds on either side of the scale, but could not decide what was greater. Unlike Galahad, Paris had a conscience. Owen looked at the large insignia, and thought to himself his promotion to Admiral was the crowning moment of his life. He frowned. No, it was the moment he walked into Sickbay and took his son in his arms, then his daughter-in-law, and then his first granddaughter. When _Voyager_ had been lost in the Badlands he himself had gone out with a small fleet of ships to try and find them, and they searched for months. Until _Voyager_ finally made contact every so often he'd go out to the Badlands, searching for anything, a son or evidence of his parting. Not knowing destroyed him.

"Admiral Paris," greeted Galahad as she entered the courtroom, "good morning."

"Same to you," he walked away from the window.

Galahad frowned, "You seem to be distressed Owen."

"I have no reason to be optimistic."

"No," Galahad paused, "not optimistic, you should be satisfied. This woman is a criminal and today justice will be served."

He shook his head, "I hope so."

"And this is only the beginning."

"What do you mean?"

"I wasn't going to bring this up until after the trial, but," she handed him a PADD, "I'm going to suspend the _Voyager_ officers from active duty pending a full investigation into their activities while in the Delta Quadrant."

For a moment Owen was taken aback, "You can't possibly be serious."

"I'm afraid I've come across some disturbing information," Galahad explained, "about Admiral Janeway and her crew. I know it's not my normal purview but I took the liberty of assigning a team to go over the logs with a fine comb."

"Those men and women are heroes."

"Survivors, not heroes," Enid almost smiled, "they survived but they were no heroes. Admiral Janeway has made an alliance with the Borg, involved _Voyager_ in the dispute over a Talaxian asteroid colony, and violated the Prime Directive on multiple occasions. There are laws that govern us for a reason, why should she get special treatment?"

Owen bowed his head, and took the PADD.

"I'll take a look at this myself, Admiral Galahad."

Enid turned to the wall and allowed herself a smirk of victory.

By the time they transported to the courthouse Cassandra's apprehension was under control, and to all around her she appeared cool and confident. It was a crisp autumn morning, and the odd leaf peppered the green of the grass. They did not expect to be greeted by a half dozen girls in kimono, twenty or so crewmen from _Voyager_, and forty people Kathryn had never seen before. Cassandra knew them all by name. The girls were from the restaurant, and the others she had helped in some way or another over the years. Immediately she recognized Sveta, a former Maquis, and Ryoma, she'd helped him escape a Cardassian prisoner of war camp. Nobody spoke a word, the gravity of the moment was enough. When Cassandra walked pass them they either smiled or dipped their head in greeting. Tuvok stood on one side of her, Kathryn on the other, and together they entered the building.

Taking their seats across from the panel of Admirals Cassandra reluctantly watched Kathryn take a seat behind her on the bench. Eventually the footsteps stopped, and everyone was silent. From left to right Cassandra was facing Admirals T'Letha, Galahad, Paris, and Svorski.

Only Paris had any sort of warmth in his eyes, the others were cold as ice.

Svorski stood, "These proceedings are to judge if Cassandra Marie Wilkes is guilty of drug trafficking, arms dealing, possession of controlled substances, and illegally obtaining armaments. For the log this trial is presided over by three other Admirals besides myself, and a unanimous vote is required for sentencing. To those charges, how do you plead?"

On cue Tuvok and Cassandra stood, and she said in a clear voice, "Not guilty."

T'Letha spoke calmly, "Please sit, Miss Wilkes."

Cassandra moved to the center chair and sat, smoothing the crease of her pants. She knew what was coming, and wondered slightly if she could prevail.

Svorski leaned forward, "Do you deny that in the warehouse in question there were large quantities of Maraji Crystal, a controlled substance under Federation law?"

"I don't deny that."

T'Letha spoke up, her Vulcan voice stoic, "Have you ever sold weapons to political factions?"

"I have," she answered honestly.

"Miss Wilkes," Owen looked uncomfortable, "if you admit to committing these crimes how can this panel find you innocent?"

"I don't expect to be found innocent, Admiral," Cassandra rested her hands in her lap, "because this is a farce, and a miscarriage of justice. My guilt was decided long before this trial began. I was promised absolution and I have come to see that promise through."

"According to the laws of the Federation the dropping of the charges was done," countered Galahad, "the discovery of the Maraji Crystal - along with a cache of weapons - was done after the offer was made. You were absolved of all past crimes, not given immunity for future ones."

"I know," agreed Cassandra, "but Admiral Owen Paris made it perfectly clear that if I found the warhead the charges would be dropped. It took two days to reach New Sydney at Warp Seven, and it took you only one day to search and seize the warehouse."

"Have you come here to argue semantics with this panel?"

Cassandra chose her words with care, "No, of course not Admiral. There is no need for an argument, for surely there was a record of the offer extended to me?"

Svorski looked to Paris, "Where is the record?"

"There is none."

"If ever an offer of clemency is made there must be a record," T'Letha said.

Cassandra had the panel right where she wanted them, "I do have a witness."

"A witness is not the most reliable source," maintained Galahad, "and it proves nothing."

"My witness is Admiral Janeway."

From the bench Kathryn stood and approached the center of the room.

"Miss Wilkes is correct," she confirmed, "I was present when Admiral Paris agreed to drop all pending charges if and when she helped us locate a tricobalt warhead."

It seemed they were to be successful, but then Galahad whispered something to Svorski, and they turned back to Kathryn.

"What is the nature of your relationship with the defendant," asked Svorski.

"After the apprehension of Terry Gates Miss Wilkes and I decided to pursue a romantic relationship."

"In admission of that you expect us to find your testimony credible," Galahad asked her, to which Kathryn stood up straight and tall.

"I have nothing short of an exemplary service record," Kathryn said in her intense tone, "and have several medals of merit, dozens of commendations, and so forth. I am proud to come from a long line of Starfleet officers and explorers."

Galahad pushed on, "I want you to know it does not sit well with me to have to question your motives, but I have no choice. This is a court of law, and of justice. I have no doubt that you believe exactly what you are saying, but Cassandra Wilkes is a known criminal and con artist. Consider this for a moment, Admiral, what if she's using you? Bedding an Admiral for a few months is a small price to pay in comparison to her freedom."

"Nothing is further from the truth," Kathryn was getting frustrated, because she could see her credibility suffering with each barb of Galahad's tongue.

"Before the incident that stranded you in the Delta Quadrant, you were engaged, correct?"

Kathryn nodded, "That's right."

"It's a shame that what Cassandra has done to Admiral Janeway isn't considered a crime," Galahad said with forced emotion in her voice, "because I think it's the worst travesty of all. I believe that after losing her husband-to-be Admiral Janeway sought out the comfort of another human being, and that Wilkes was more than willing to offer herself. She is so conniving Admiral Janeway doesn't even realise she's been had. What kind of a person could take advantage of someone like that?"

Cassandra broke her silence, "I have done a lot of things in my life, but I have never used Kathryn."

"I have evidence that you have a copy of her personal logs," Svorski interjected.

Galahad had played her moves well, and victory was close.

"I do, yes," Cassandra was beginning to get flustered, the anxiety from earlier clutching her heart.

"I don't know how you live with yourself," Galahad said to Cassandra, "knowing full well of all the people you've hurt. You are a blight in society and should be removed from it."

Cassandra stammered, "But, I'm not like that anymore."

"People like you don't change."

Tears of fear, anger, and rage threatened to stream down her cheeks, but she kept them in check.

"Am I so horrible," she asked in a defeated voice, and bowed her head.

"Yes," Admiral Galahad answered.

"Then if I am so terrible, and such a blight on humanity," Cassandra met Galahad's steely gaze, "_how come I was good enough for you?"_

In the tense silence that followed one could have heard a pip drop. Cassandra held the Admiral's stare, and could see her cold eyes calculating a response.

Paris cleared his throat, "Have you ever been involved, intimately, with Admiral Galahad?"

"She was a Captain at the time," elaborated Cassandra, "and I was serving under her on the _U.S.S. Columbia_. Our entanglement lasted several months."

Owen turned to Galahad, "Is this true?"

"It is," Galahad admitted, "I was not always a strong woman, and after a long while of her coming on to me I eventually relented to her advances."

"Liar," spat Cassandra, "that's not what happened at all. You sought me out even while on duty, constant innuendo and inappropriate looks."

"If - like you claim - I came onto you, then why didn't you report me?"

Cassandra scoffed, "Because I actually thought I was doing the right thing. We were in the aftermath of one of the ugliest conflicts the Federation has seen, and Starfleet needed you."

"Why did you not request a transfer," inquired T'Letha.

"Because I knew if I left she'd focus her intentions somewhere else," explained Cassandra, "and then the situation might get out of control."

"You have no proof," announced Galahad, "and may I remind everyone that I am not on trial."

"But you should be," Cassandra replied.

"Unless you've come here with hard evidence I doubt that's likely to occur."

Tuvok got up from the table with four PADDs and handed one to each Admiral.

"The following is a flight plan for a vessel Captain Fritz Hassan," Tuvok began, "and also the path of the _U.S.S. Pandora_. If you notice they intersect for approximately one hour, as recorded by Deep Space Six. Captain Hassan is in custody and is willing to testify against Admiral Galahad."

"He was having engine trouble," explained Galahad, "and we stopped to assist him. I was on my way back from settling a mining dispute on Lira Prime."

"And the damage to his engines was due to a plasma storm," asked Tuvok.

Galahad nodded, "That's correct."

"That is highly unlikely," countered Tuvok, "since there has not been a plasma storm in that region in several hundred years. The stray nadions from a large U-Class Nebula in the vicinity actually have a dampening affect on the surrounding space, preventing plasma storms."

"That only means I was lied too," deduced Galahad, remaining confident.

"I'm afraid I need clarification," Svorski requested, "for why you think they rendezvoused."

"Admiral Galahad beamed aboard the vessel for a session with a Net-Girl."

Galahad stood quickly, and put her hands on the table in front of her.

"I will not stand here and be accused of such nonsense. This is only a way to divert you from what we're supposed to be doing here, sentencing Cassandra Wilkes for her crimes."

T'Letha turned to Galahad, "Logically sentencing follows a verdict, which we have not reached yet. Commander Tuvok has presented this panel with compelling evidence, though we can discover the truth of things right now. If indeed Admiral Galahad was in a session with a Net-Girl there will be foreign memory engrams in her cerebral cortex. I suggest she be examined with haste."

For a moment Cassandra thought Galahad would run, but then Enid never ran from anything. As Owen motioned for two armed Security officers to remove Galahad from the proceedings and place her in a holding cell, pending a medical evaluation, the woman did not bat an eyelash over the issue. She remained as pitiless as ever, and did not protest her innocence as they took her away.

For several long moments the panel of Admirals spoke in hushed whispers to one another, until finally they stopped.

"We have reached a verdict," Owen declared, "but there's a problem. We are now short one Admiral. Since I do not want to delay this any longer, would Admiral Janeway please join the panel?"

"This is hardly typical," replied Kathryn, approaching the panel.

Svorski turned to her, "Then you should do just fine."

Cassandra fidgeted slightly as the four Admirals conferred. She hoped today would be the start of a good life, one she could be proud of. The restaurant would fill her days, and Kathryn her nights and mornings. For her future she wanted monotony and predictability, well, maybe not all the time.

The Admirals stopped, and Svorski stood to face the crowd. Everybody else got to their feet, and under her breath Cassandra prayed.

"In the trial of Cassandra Wilkes this panel has decided the defendant to be not guilty, and absolved of all charges."

Her knees gave way, and Cassandra tumbled to the floor. As much as she wanted to appear strong her strength left her. Kathryn helped her to her feet and lovingly embraced her.

"Is it over," Cassandra asked.

Kathryn pulled back to look into her eyes.

"Yes, and now the rest of your life can begin."

"With you."

A smile formed on Kathryn's lips.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

After shaking hands with the Admirals and being congratulated by the spectators the courtroom cleared until only Kathryn, Owen, and a thin, pale blonde woman remained.

"Allow me to introduce Director Covington," said Owen, "of Starfleet Intelligence."

Cassandra blanched, "You're not going to arrest me again, are you?"

"No," replied Covington, shaking her hand, "but I do have a proposal for you."

"I'm listening."

"You're quite notorious for your abilities to smuggle, conceal, and deception," Covington explained.

"Are you trying to compliment or insult me Director?"

"Neither," she replied, "I want to offer you a position at Starfleet Intelligence. One of my Covert Ops team leader recently left us to pursue other options and the position has yet to be filled. To be perfectly honest my department used your arrest and trial as a means to flush out the mole in Starfleet."

Kathryn looked to Owen, "Is this true?"

He nodded, "I never had any intention of seeing Miss Wilkes go to prison. Admiral Galahad has long been under suspicion, but we've never been able to get evidence on her."

"I'm sorry, Director," said Cassandra, "but as you most likely know I own a restaurant and I am eager to get back to it."

Covington clenched her teeth, "I don't make this offer lightly. You're a talented officer."

"Complimenting me will change nothing."

"Alright," Covington smirked, "the Hell with flattery. Just think about this; how long can you live a boring, provincial life? Run a charming little sushi joint, spend nights with your beloved, and do the same thing over and over again. It took you two months to get bored after _Voyager_ returned before you went on your first operation."

For a moment Cassandra considered Covington's words. She'd never been one for a dull existence, but that's what got her into trouble in the first place. Besides, as Kathryn had once said, she had little love for Starfleet.

"Just answer me this," Cassandra paused, "why are you so insistent?"

"Before your adventure to the Delta Quadrant I was assigned to bring you in," she explained, "and yet as hard as I tried you never fell for any traps or made any mistakes. You're the perfect agent, and you already have leadership experience."

Silence ensued, and Cassandra thought carefully for a long moment. Ten team leaders reported directly to Covington herself, and each team had six members. She hated to admit it but Covington was right, she was good at what she did. The image of her mother floated into her mind.

"I have some conditions," she announced, and she looked to Kathryn. The other woman looked mildly surprised.

"You'll find I can be quite reasonable."

Cassandra sighed, "Then when do I start?"

"I'll see you Monday, oh seven hundred hours in my office, Commander."

After some small talk Paris and Covington left the room, and Kathryn leaned against a table.

"Penny for your thoughts," asked Cassandra.

Kathryn rubbed the back of her neck, "I'm a little shocked you said yes."

"I must be crazy, right," she smiled, "I get a poor salary, long hours, and since it's Covert Ops, no glory. My mother once told me that our talents are not to be used for personal gain, but for the betterment of the world around us."

"She was a wise woman."

"I wish you could have met her."

Kathryn gingerly picked up Cassandra's hand an touched it to her cheek.

"Knowing you," she kissed Cassandra's fingertips, "loving you, I feel like I've known her all along."

Cassandra saw a bit of confliction in Kathryn's eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"When we found out that night about Galahad and her proclivities you told me that the two of you had once been lovers," Kathryn took a moment to form her words, "but you said today that her advances were unwelcome."

"That's right."

"How did it happen?"

Cassandra exhaled loudly, and let her gaze go to her feet.

"There was a Bajoran labour camp we'd liberated," she began, "and I was devastated by what I saw. Children were nothing more than flesh and bones, and had scars from the lash the Cardassians are so fond of. I retreated to my quarters, and she followed me there. Galahad told me she found a way to escape the nightmares. You have no idea how sincere she can pretend to be. It was a time when I needed someone. I inhaled Maraji Crystals for the first time that night, and didn't realise until morning that we'd been intimate."

Kathryn was visibly appalled, but before she could say something Cassandra continued.

"I was not taken advantage of. Or else I would have stopped my behaviour immediately, but I went back to her. We met a few times a month, and by that time I'd been using outside of my sessions with her."

"But you left, on shore leave, to visit your mother."

"I went home," corrected Cassandra, "to heal myself. The darkness in me was destroying me."

Kathryn knew the rest of the story. Cassandra found her mother's tavern in ruins, and found the assailants. A shiver crept up her spine when she thought of Cassandra lying in the field next to her mother's corpse. A realisation dawned on Kathryn.

"Galahad came to find you," she said aloud, "and took you back to the ship."

"Then to Starfleet Medical," Cassandra smiled, "psychiatric division. After a while I met a tall dark man with a fire in his soul. A thirst for revenge. When I was catatonic he spent a lot of time telling me about his homeworld."

"It was Chakotay."

"Of course," replied Cassandra, "he gave me a bit of strength I needed. Then I was released back to my original post, with Galahad."

Immediately Kathryn noticed a change in Cassandra's body language. She crossed her arms over her chest, protectively, and her shoulders slumped.

"Something happened when you got back," deduced Kathryn.

Cassandra said yes but offered no further details and Kathryn didn't push her. It had been an exhausting day for the both of them.

"I was thinking," Kathryn began, "about how much I enjoyed your presence in my apartment. I know it's kind of sudden, but I would like you to stay with me."


End file.
